Front Lines Communications

Hey, everyone. I had an idea.

So now that everyone knows atavism is genetic we should tell them that the source of atavism, the kick-starter or whatever, is stored in the Chrysler Building. Everybody wants superpowers, right? And everybody wants to have some kind of cool genetic mutation. And then people would flock to the building and there would be crowd control issues and the Project would have to handle the situation. It might not create mass chaos or anything but it would be a huge headache.

Maybe some nuances of this plan need to be figured out but that's what I've got so far. I've never really leaked any information to anyone before so I don't know if that's someone's specialty or whatever but, yeah. Thoughts...?

Hey. Sorry I disappeared. Don't know if you heard, but my uncle was murdered killed framed murdered ... my uncle's dead. So. The Project took my phone for a bit and I had to toss my old burner.

I don't know how useful the details of my "interrogation" are going to be, but: they asked me if Christian had been acting unusual lately (not that I knew of), they asked me about the bug (obviously I denied any involvement), and that was about it.

He wasn't MAL, right? Please tell me if he was.

May the Fourth be with you. I've already gotten into one argument today about the best order in which to watch the Star Wars films (it's 4, 5, 2, 3, 6, by the way, because The Phantom Menace is irredeemable trash. However, I'm not ashamed to admit that I liked it when I was 11). It's going to be a good day!

In other news, tune in to Why Can't You Trust an Atom? this week for a rousing debate on the existence of indigenous technological species. I fall on the "that sounds highly unlikely" side of the debate, which should surprise no one.

Happy Earth Day. Do yourself a favor and never eat (drink?) Soylent. Also, a Starbucks unicorn frappuccino contains an ingredient called "Blue Drizzle," which sounds like a radioactive chemical that is going to eventually destroy the planet.

[JOE & PEOPLE WHO WERE AT JOE'S PARTY]

I think I left a plaid shirt there, or one of you stole it.

That was fun I had a good ti Hanging out with all of Anyway, can't wait til the next one. And no, I will not sing "Killing Me Softly."

I don't mind being out of college but I do miss spring break. And when I say "I miss spring break," I mean that I miss being able to travel freely throughout the continental United States without having to tell the government where I'm going and exactly what I'm doing. (And yeah, it has occurred to me that maybe one day I could just run really fast and end up on the other side of the country before anyone noticed.) I also miss hot babes in swim wear. Just kidding. I never went to the beach for any of my spring breaks. I went to Seattle once, and the other times I went camping.

[APHRA & JAYLA]

I'm still finding piles of glitter in my room despite all of my efforts. My cat sneezed yesterday and now my favorite pants are unredeemable. I'm not sure why but I have a feeling that one of you (plus my sister) was responsible for this.

This week's episode of my podcast is now available. We celebrate the birthday of Pluto's discovery and talk about whether or not world governments were covering up the existence of Zealandia with advanced extraterrestrial technology. (We talk about other stuff, too, but these are the most important parts.)

I also bought $250 worth of Valentine's Day candy for $75 yesterday, which is proof that the "holiday" is good for something.

[UNCLE CHRISTIAN]

...I need your advice. But first you have to promise not to tell my mom.