hot st. patrick's day tips from a filthy boston irish:
- one guinness is a snack. two is an appetizer. three is a meal
- my
therapist nutritionist reminds me you need 3 meals a day
- don't do shots. pour jameson into your guinness and chug it
- corned beef was created by God for everyone on this green earth to enjoy, and i once ate so much in 24 hrs my tongue bled from dehydration
- the only way to gain the luck of the irish is by slapping the nearest irish person on the ass
- all the snakes in ireland went to england, put on wigs, and fucked over the irish for the next 1,517 years. that's why english nobles look like lizard people
- nobody cares how irish you are
- iphones sell for $300, take 5 minutes to factory reset, and P:A will fine you for losing your Project phone. don't put it in your back pocket
see me at throwback and i'll trade 1 precog vision for 1 drink/$10. i'll be the one with a DONT EVEN LOOK AT ME hoodie
cheers 🍀🍻🍀
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