Tower Aspera » Network

You all a bunch of chumps, telling everyone what you can do, change into, what you are. Sounds like all we need is some sunlight, wild animal cages and some fire extinguishers. Just so no one asks me, I sing in the shower. Pretty good at it, too.

This is so fucked.

[8:58am]

Okay, I gotta know. Who’s the bear?

[...] Is this my punishment You guys can't be doing this shit my grasp on reality is SO BAD ALREADY

Are you guys for real, or what's the joke here?

[10:10pm]

Hello lovely tower neighbors,

My name is Tyler Ford. Lyricist, vocalist, former alcoholic (the "former" thing is not by choice, but probably better for everyone).

I was born Clifford Albert Gibbons (Cal still gets credit, he outed it first) in Valentine, Nebraska on January 9th, 1955. Yes, the name is terrible, thank you. Yes, my new name is better, also thank you.

I'm a Capricorn.

I hate long walks on the beach because sand fucking sucks.

My favorite song is "Sweet Child of Mine" because my second mom used to sing it at me all the time, even though I was way too old for it when it released. I guess your kids are always your kids.

My favorite food used to be chargrilled barbecue chicken wings from this little place outside of Atlanta Georgia, but now I can't eat that shit anymore because someone effectively murdered and then kidnapped me, in that order and without my consent, in the 80s.

Yes, I'm still slightly bitter about that.

Those daylight bulbs the good doc asked for were for people like me. Thanks. You're a fucking jackass.

Hi, I'm a vampire, but I'm polite about it (except the "jackass" thing, clearly, but he started it).

No, I have not fed from you without your permission.

No, I will not feed from you without your permission.

No, this isn't a joke.

No, I'm not roleplaying.

Yes, I do hope that ruining this little part of the plan fucking annoys the assholes who put us here.

If anyone's comfortable sharing what they are at this juncture, that would be great, but is absolutely not required.

No, this isn't an invitation to start being absolute shits to each other. We have enough to worry about and no one owes you an explanation on anything until they're ready.

That said, I think most of us have gotten the memo so far that the people here aren't exactly run-of-the-mill at this point, haven't we?



Edit:

Alright alright, the important shit. Bear with me I've never come out like this before so I'm still riding on a bit of a high.

I eat blood. Specifically human blood. I can't survive on anything other than that and it's a colossal drag. The fact that I'm never going to be able to enjoy any of Sir Charles' baked magic is a crime.

I'm currently being fed from a pre-gathered supply of blood that the jerks who put us here gave to me. Initially they didn't give me anything so it was pretty freaky for a few days there and I fully expect I'm probably going to get punished for this somehow. Oh fucking well.

If there's a situation where the blood supply goes away, and you'd like to help me not die (please and thank you, you're a gem), there are a few things you should know.

1. I only need to eat a pint every few days.
2. I don't have to drink directly from you, and I can heal the wound.
3. If you feed me, you're going to be lethargic for a bit. This might affect things if we get tossed into more bullshit like the obstacle course, and will definitely add up with consecutive feedings, so better to avoid those.

Also, did you see we have a fucking WEREDOG? How cool is that??

I've agreed to do some baking for the meet and greet Daisy is throwing. Does anyone have any dietary restrictions or allergies I should plan around?

[8:20am]

PUTAIN

[8:22am]

Wow. Not to complain, but did they have to call us out by name?

Good news, though. I was given a message that the meditation room and gym both have a supply of yoga mats in them. I haven’t mentioned this to everyone yet, but I teach yoga. If others would be interested in practicing together, I’d be very glad to set up a time.

Wtf. A door I can't open. And I've been trying.

Just where tf am I? What's this? Who are you? HELLLLLOOOOO

Oh.

[8:45 am]

I know that I put Beauty and The Beast as my favorite kids movie on my Tinder… but that didn’t mean I wanted the full stockholm experience. Still waiting for my dresser to start offering me different dress options.

Digs are nice though, I’ll give you that.

2/10; would not recommend to a friend.