Communications

( You have (1) new message! )

>> So are you two okay?
>> Apparently some people got their genders swapped.
>> Just checkin' in.
>> I'm still male, which suits me just fine.

>> There's this girl.
>> You should meet her

( Texts under the cut! )

>> Lunch tomorrow?

>> Are your dreams as fucked up as mine?

[to Boromir]
>> I told you I'd text.
>> YOU AREN'T GOING TO IGNORE IT, ARE YOU?
>> Now tell me all about how you think your man bits are better than girl bits for paintballing.
>> All about Eomer's sister and you and if there's a thing.
>> And what kind of assistant that Eomer is since it seems so secret squirrel.
>> And how much fun it would be to invite Aunt Ivri out for a fundraiser dinner for your upcoming election. :) :) :)

[to Eomer]
>> Hi!
>> This is probably a huge mistake letting me text you.
>> But I think it's easier to talk like this than broadcasting it all over the place.
>> Boromir's very mindful of what's said or done in public, after all!
>> You'd know that, of course. :)

>> You drank all my coffee.
>> Left everything a mess.
>> Stole my couch and my tv.
>> And now everything I own smells like pot.

>> I can't go to work smelling like pot.
>> Which means I can't get paid.
>> Which means I can't keep YOU around.
>> If you're gonna smoke that shit, smoke it outside.
>> Or preferably somewhere else.

Eomer

>> Do you want to join us for paintball next week?

Eothain

>> Hi, asshole.


Faramir

>> What're you up to?

Greetings potential boss man,

It's been a while since we talked about that security job you proposed. The friend of mine who became a nine year old is now his older self (mentally still nine, but that's an issue for another day), and I'm wondering if you are also back to your old self.

If so, I'd like to get that meeting lined up.

Thank you,
Eomer.

>> You know.
>> I wasn't going to ask, but I'm genuinely curious.
>> WHY is there a bloody sheet in the washer?
>> What in the hell did you do on my couch?

>> Hi dad.
>> I was told to call or text you.
>> They said for you to pick me up and pay the fine since I was caught stealing some beer and a carton of cigs.
>> Not even april fools. You're a bad dad. lol
>> Bail me out, dude.

( Cut for Mall Situation )

Left on the couch.

Hey Babe.

Got you a gift to celebrate our trial thing.

Your very own mandles that I've sniffed myself!

-Eomer

( not safe for work. Or sanity )

>>This is that costume I mentioned.
>>What do you think, should we be REALLY sexy cowboys?
>>We could even troll the gay bar.
>>Not cause I have a problem with people being gay. Just equal opportunity troll.

>>You know how you used to call your parents if something happened to your clothes at school, and they'd drop off new ones?
>>Uh, could you bring me a pair of riding pants please?

>>So. I've got a hook up for us with one of the moms from my class.
>>Turns out besides reading Fifty Shades while waiting for the kid, she deals out of her minivan.
>>Really high quality blend too. Had a free sample from her today.
>>You want me to pick any up for you, man?

"Hey, Uh...Wyn. I...bet you'll never guess where I am!"

>> Eomer, yea I'm talking 2 u
>> Guess wut?
>> Mexicoooooooo
>> Let's do it ok?

>>Hey Sis!
>>Guess who's about to stalk you from horseback?
>>After all, this phone has GPS.
>>Unless that's interrupting.