Dearest tart of a sister,
Hello, from the bedroom. From where I am angrily punching my fingertips onto a keyboard, because I'm hacked off at you and don't want to see your face ever again, you dirty occultist sibling stalker.
Because I can't be arsed to do it myself, I'm shirking this onto you. Please inform our smelly, insane father that I wish to extend him a 'happy' FUCK YOU day, and I hope that he lights himself on fire, since no one in their right bloody mind would piss on him to put the fire out.
Also, his housing bill's been pre-paid for the month.Oh, and I want eggs and bangers and toast soldiers, because you've inconvenienced me.
Absolutely NO love,
Pete.
P.S. - Get off Thurman's couch and go home.