MarinaNova Asylum

You know, there's no real point in my pursuing the whole movie thing now that the guy who put me up to it is gone, but I'm gonna follow through. Besides, it's a good time killer.

We have no intention of making this thing any good, but anyone who wants to be in it come to the TV studio.

Peggy? Raven? Artemis? You guys come too. Just for fun.

[Private to his Double.]

So I'm thinking about recruiting that unicorn...

[Earlier in the dawn of day 210, Jane had been reunited with (1) Roxy Lalonde. As promised she is going to be taking Roxy home to reunite with her fellow housemates. After a good tearful reunion and a scare with some dickbag Caliborn, she immediately takes Roxy back to the house.

When she opens the door, she calls out for Dirk and Jake.]

Guys? I'm home. I have Roxy with me.

[the feed goes live with this face.

if you are actually willing to continue watching after that lovely surprise, whatever the fuck that was will disappear in a blur, revealing a grown-ass man with pointy anime shades, a baseball cap, and his prison jumpsuit collar popped. his face is impassive except for the tiny smirk on his lips, but the ventriloquist dummy in possession of that face peers coyly over his shoulder, smiling widely at the camera.]

Well shit. Real thorough list you got there. Even managed to bag my fuckin' partner.

[a hand in fingerless leather gloves reaches up to gently pat the puppet's rouged cheek.]

Considering he was the mastermind behind most of those crimes, I'm pretty damn impressed. I’d give ya’ll congratulatory virtual ass pats if I thought you'd derive any pleasure from 'em--you really oughta get something for finally bringin’ such naughty boys to justice.

[ the art of disguise is not merely physical. it runs on many layers, and the ability to replicate and manipulate emotions is just as important as the way one looks. it all comes in handy, though, especially when you're a world-renowned criminal mastermind in a new place with new people and you need to get your bearings.

this is why the residents of marina will be finding themselves in the company of richard brook, the fretful out-of-work actor, rather than the criminal mastermind that is james moriarty. it's only practical, after all; it would be absolutely ridiculous for everyone to be aware of his capabilities right off the bat.

the rumpled-looking man showing on the video feed is rather obviously distressed. he seems more fearful than angry, however -- his voice wavers as he mutters to himself, very quietly. ]

...torture? Murder? Really, I can't --

[ he pauses, and takes a deep breath. ]

I thought we'd been through all this once already. I'm innocent. I didn't do any of those horrible things, not a single one -- all I did was look the part. I swear, I'm being honest, I'll tell you everything all over again if I need to.

[ that tremor isn't just in his voice, now. he's shaking. ]

You've got the wrong man. This is a mistake. Please, just let me go home.

[ The camera points at various things, and eventually comes to settle on Roxy's face. ]

This thing on...? Yeah, shit's all kindsa recording.

Ahemhmhmm. [ Clearing her throat. ] I'm hella hung over, have no clue where I am, apparently in jail, and more importantly I'm hankering for a martini. First order of business: where can I get a drink?

Secondly, someone fill a girl in on the punch line. There's no way this isn't some sort of big, fat joke. Prison, underwater, that shit is so un-cash it's in the negative.

Wardens, you've picked some shitty jokes and the wrong prankee. You're computers and I just so happen to be the hottest hacker bitch on the block. I'll stage my revenge when you least expect it: expect to be signed up for all sorts of shitty mailing lists.

Uh. And that's that.

[ Clicks off. ]

Day 210. We're giving you some new playmates today. [Sigh. Can't be bothered really.]

You know the drill.

[Mail Delivery: From Piper Halliwell to Everyone.]

(OOC: Kiosk requests will be handled by Veridical unless otherwise requested. Mail submissions can be left HERE.)

[Jane comes over the feed. She meant to inform everyone yesterday, but you know how things go here sometimes. You get busy and you really just don't have the time to communicate with the rest of your community.

She's holding up a brochure entitled "Why skipping Group Therapy is Unacceptable".]

So my punishment for skipping group therapy on day one hundred ninety six was to write a brochure stating why my actions were wrong and unacceptable. Anywhere around the prison now you may pick up one of these brochures and give it a read. There are mass quantities placed in the Post Office just in case other places are running out.

[Anyone who picks up a copy will discover that Jane indeed made a brochure. But our of her resentment, and anger towards the good warden Veridical she has made some snide and snarky remarks inside. She will not apologize, and she is certainly NOT sorry for the things she wrote. No worry, it does stick to the theme of "Why skipping Group Therapy is Unacceptable".]

How is everyone? I haven't asked in quite some time.

[ The setting may be familiar to some, either from personal experience or depictions in media. A ring of chairs set up in the middle of the floor of one of the Education Center classrooms, a thermos of bad coffee and a carton of stale donuts left out on a table nearby and a basket of brochures — addiction literature, geared towards the many different faces this monster can take.

There's also a basic schedule written on the whiteboard:

• Introduction - tell us your name and addiction.
• Round robin - take turns sharing something about yourselves.
• Open sharing session.

The sentinels ushering the participants in will helpfully inform the group that the sooner they get through the dayplan, the sooner they're allowed to leave. Good luck with your rehabilitation! ]

((OOC: Addicts, to me! Anyone is welcome to be sorted into this group even if you didn't sign up ahead of time. Threadjacking is heavily encouraged, since overhearing conversations will very difficult to avoid in such close quarters. You're also of course free to do other exercises or just chat away amongst yourself rather than follow the instructions! ))

[ Roxy is, as of the morning, sprawled in the bed she's been sharing (mostly chastely, don't get any ideas you pervs) with Jane, hungover and contemplating nipping down to the Shack to grab an early-morning drink. Maybe a bloody mary, those are good for hangovers, right? She's seen that in movies.

Her lovely girlfriend's already up and is probably disgustingly chipper and maybe even baking something.

Her desire to not be 100% sober is starting to overwhelm her desire to never move, but for now she's still in bed staring at the ceiling. ]

[The video clicks on to show a kid who isn't really sure what expression to make. His expression seems to settle into one of confusion after a minute or two.]

I guess I wasn't really expecting to wake up here after that whole dream bubble thing. Then again I probably was never expecting to wake up in a prison?

I am not really sure about this crimes list they gave me, though. I mean I did do some of these, but uh... Most of these were from playing a video game, so I don't really know if those count? Also I wasn't really driving that car??

Oh man, I am going to start rambling! Anyway, I am new here apparently, so hi. My name is John! I wonder if anyone else I know is here? On second thought, I hope not. That would really suck.

[Voice]

Hey, everyone. For my fifth and final punishment, I'm required to give a lecture at the educational facility on a "respectable" subject.

So anyone who wants to hear me talk about masturbation is encouraged to show up at ten this morning.

[Action/Open]

[ Dirk sure is blazing through these punishments. It's almost like he impatiently feels he has something better to be doing.

Despite the fact that he's cross-dressing for this occasion -- for which you can blame Jake and Jane -- Dirk is thoroughly professional, respectful, and thorough in his lecture. Rather than lingering on masturbation techniques and lewd subject matter, he discusses the health benefits et al.

At the end, he takes questions. ]

[Action 2/Closed]

[ Your name is Jake English and you have a personal servant for the day. What will you do? ]

[ Roxy comes onto the screen looking both a little more sober than she has in most network appearances thus far, and REALLY psyched about something. She's flushed and a little breathless and grinning like she can't stop ]

Okay soooooooo I know that Jane Crocker is like the choicest of chicks around here, 'cause who doesn't want some of that sweet sugar, plus she can bake, and is adorable to boot. [ bounce bounce ] But I'm here to announce that as of today she is officially off limits to AAAAAALL of you! Her smooches are for me and me alone!

[ giggle ]

Oh, and if you want the best cocktails this side of the glass that keeps the ocean from crushing us to death, drop by the Blood Shack some night, I make a killer appletini.

[ gringrinbounce ]

Today is Day 188. The sharper among you probably figured this out already since yesterday was Day 187. I am glad we had this talk.

You were all well behaved yesterday at least. So, today you can enjoy chocolate-dipped frozen bananas at one of the food carts in sector 0. You're welcome.

We will also have MarinaNova postcards, featuring a wide-variety of our scenic dome attractions, located in all shops and in special holders in various lobbies and restaurants. Some of these are even blank, so you can draw your own pictures. Markers and crayons are available at most locations. You are encouraged to make use of these. [Mail post.]

Doctor, your request is ready.

( action // closed to roxy lalonde // cut for spoilers )

( Action 1 | Closed )

[ Voice | Open ]

Hey, just a heads-up: My broke-ass headset's not translating anything today as part of some bullshit punishment for defending myself against a bunch of giant wasps. So if you don't speak English, Japanese, Urdu, Pashto, Farsi, Tagalog, or Lojban, don't bother trying to get in touch with me until tomorrow.

[ There's not very much to do when you live in the future. ]

Second, I made a bunch of cookies. Another punishment thing. I've planted them in random locations around the dome. Good luck.

[ They can be found basically anywhere: In the pockets of clothes in The Row, in drawers in empty apartments, on the learning modules in the Education Center. If you can think of a completely ridiculous location, there is a cookie there.

They taste awful. There's a reason he made them available for general consumption instead of just giving them to his housemates. ]

( Action 2 | Closed )

[A very cross Jane comes over the network, she's sitting in her and Roxy's shared room in their home. It seems she is tired, cranky, and very unhappy. She has a lot to say and not enough patience to say it.

Her lip is quirked in a way that even reads angry.]

Good mid-morning Marina. As part of my punishment for defending myself, I'm supposed to share a secret about myself. I mulled over my limited possibilities in things I could have to share with all of you.

So here it is, my name Jane Crocker is undeniably linked with the empire known to most of you as "Betty Crocker". In fact, I am the heiress to the company because she's apparently my great great grandma or something of that nature. But that status doesn't really matter anymore.

[So it was really just a way to get this punishment out of the way. Please pester her for baked goods.]

[ FILTERED to Dave Strider, Jake English, Roxy Lalonde, and Jane Crocker. ]

Yo. Jane and me are trapped in the arcade in Sector 3. She got stung by one of those overgrown Vespa mandarinia and went into some drug-induced gigglefit, but otherwise hasn't suffered any adverse effects yet.

You guys okay?

[A buck-toothed smile appears on the screen along with a pair of thick black frame glasses. Bright green eyes look very, very excited. Like. Really freaking excited. Like you cannot believe.]

It's been quite the galvanizing day! I've spent a good portion of it with my chums from-- er, my world, and I've met a few other friendlies here and there.

I'd wager you have nothing to fear, my fellow captives. You may be dismayed by our current status as prisoners, but cheer up! All this crime malarkey aside, I believe we're all just a bunch of ordinary ladies and gents in a completely ordinary underwater dome.

They even have a movie theater! Which I will most definitely be visiting on a frequent basis.

Which, by the way. Dirk, Roxy, Jane! Are the three of you up for a good ol' friendly outing? Complete with bags of overpriced popcorn served to us by jovial youngsters trying to save up for a fancy automobile?

[Eric is behind the bar of the Blood Shack when the video comes up. He gives an easy grin, takes a sip of his blood and appears to be entirely at ease. No one would know that a week ago he was suffering from extreme fatigue, weakness and the bleeds because of the damage he did to the bots. He's slowly learned that this place can really screw him over if it wants to. He's wearing a dark red, silky button down and a pair of black pants. He looks like a business man and that's precisely the image he wants to evoke. There's also a red warning band around his wrist that can clearly be seen. Sure, he could tuck it beneath the sleeve of his shirt, but why would he want to do that.]

It seems I've found myself in an altercation with a couple of the bots two days ago. As a result, I'm offering my services to the prisoners at large. If you've chores that need to be done, anything from cleaning to running errands, I'm available. This offer goes out to the first three to take it.

Now, onto more pleasant matters. I've recently been granted ownership of the blood shack. It is still bot monitored for the moment, but I invite you to come out, enjoy yourself and make Marina Nova's vampire owned blood bar a success. For those of you that don't drink blood, I've got the appropriate drinks in stock. Mix, mingle and enjoy yourselves.

I know I will.

[and he's signing off]

[ooc: Just what the post advertises. Eric got in trouble and his punishment is to do chores for at least three people. He is fast and he can fly so make use of his abilities. For your enjoyment this is what you can expect from him in doing your chores.]

[ First, the video, locked to Jane Crocker and Jake English. She's... obviously kind of definitely tipsy, if not a teeny bit drunk. Looks like someone found one of the places that serves alcohol. ]

HAAAAAAAY, crazy kids, there is glitter chalk out here! It's awesome! Come deface shit with me!

[ She blows a kiss and cuts the feed. Hopefully she's outside either the old apartment or the new one... ]


[ And, for the rest of Marina, outside one of the apartment buildings, having commandeered two buckets of chalk (just in case), there is a slightly drunk 15-year-old blonde girl drawing wizards and strange-looking kittens all over the sidewalk. There has been heavy use of glitter chalk in this art, and it's already smudged all over her.

She's friendly! Come join her in non-permanently defacing her surroundings! ]