DISORDER JOURNALS

FAILED WARD TO THEODORA

If you're ready for it, I have your first assignment.

On behalf of my husband, I'm offering a 100ʛ reward to anyone with information that leads to return of four Abraxan horses stolen from our stable last night. For those of you responsible, you will die a painful death. That goes for those responsible for the heinous attack on yesterday's charity gala. You have all made fools of yourself to civilised society and shown your true colours to the world. Not even charity is safe from your terrorism and depravity.

DEATH EATERS

I want a list of Order members and I want there whereabouts now. Not a single one of them should be allowed to live after what they've done. What do we know about them? Who are our suspects? What plans do we have to destroy them?

As a secondary plan of retaliation, I want to show them what happens when they cross us. And because I love a spot of competition, the person who kills the most muggles will be rewarded. Furthermore, the first person to bring me one of the phoenix's heads will be even more handsomely rewarded.

Bad news, Tinworth. Your little hero is dead. I'm sure his traitorous little lackeys have found him by now, but I was so hoping to surprise the Wizengamot with a big reveal tomorrow morning.

If anyone's curious to learn the details of the fool's final moments, you can read all about them in tomorrow morning's Prophet.

DEATH EATERS

Robards will no longer be a problem or a distraction for us. Congratulations, Hugo. When you inherit his seat, I have two suggestions: have it reupholstered and take care of Mildred Thymblethorpe. That woman is beyond vile. I'm still scraping her unicorn spleens off the bottom of my shoes.

Furthermore, who were the Hitwizards? And why weren't they busy hunting down vigilantes when this took place?

MALFOY MANOR

What is Bunni's favourite [...] thing?

Whichever one of you vigilante cretins stole my knife, I want it returned immediately.

Before anyone else thinks about setting foot on property that doesn't belong to them, there's a man named Thad out there who will tell you just how poor an idea that is.

MALFOY MANOR

They tripped wards out past the stables. Rabastan and I've handled it.

NARCISSA

Did you manage to conduct that interview without holding your nose?

DEATH EATERS

Updates NOW.

MALFOY MANOR

The Tonkses are still alive and there's a syringe in my back I CANNOT REACH. I'm going to SET EVERY LIVING THING ON FIRE!

INNER CIRCLE

The Dark Lord has been toying with the idea of expanding his inner circle ever since Evelyn to provide more instruction for the less experienced among us. I should think preference would be given to those who served their prison sentences alongside me, but he would like our recommendations.

IGNATIUS

I think it's time we extended some holiday greetings to our former classmates.

MONTAGUE

Tell me about Willy Locke.

MALFOY MANOR

I suspect the Dark Lord would like a Christmas dinner. With his closest followers. If I'm allowed to make the suggestion of inviting people to my sister's home.

It was hardly planned out, but I'm pleased to know my Christmas shopping won't be interrupted by vigilante abductions and hag attacks this year. If only the Ministry would heed my suggestions for how to deal with the Wandless next. What an extraordinary gift it would be.

DEATH EATERS

Who here is attending this ridiculous protest at the Ministry tomorrow? We should be there to give them a warm welcome and a round of laughter while the DMLE arrests them.

DEATH EATERS

The Tinworth plants received two visitors this afternoon. For the moment, they're damaged but remain very much intact. If anyone had any doubts about their efficacy, I can attest to the fact the poison works quite well. As does the antidote.

But the more interesting bit is the identity of the one of the plants' attackers. Tell me, Ignatius, do you recall a strange man with a pushy pocketwatch? "Hurry up! Hurry up!" I'd wager he's running rather late for a reckoning, wouldn't you?

Layla, report back.

LESTRANGES + IDK

Get your things. We're going out.

ROBARDS

I'd keep an eye on the sky tonight if I were you.

DEATH EATERS

Well done this weekend. And for those of you who didn't do as well, this should show you exactly what you need to work on. A few of you could stand to brush up on your knowledge of venomous plants. We've seen the Order use more bizarre spells and tactics than this. But what can one expect from a bunch of amateur duellists who have the maturity level of a Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes patron? We have to be prepared for anything.

Team C has won. You'll be rewarded with a chance to practice your cruciatus curses in front of the Dark Lord's best. Evelyn and I have collected a couple foolish Wandless for this purpose. We'll do it Friday. Try to impress us. And Rodolphus, as the winner of our final round of training, you will receive an extra reward. The Dark Lord will be joining you for lunch on Friday. He is always aware and eager to identify those who are most talented within his ranks. Let this be something to which you all aspire.

And well done in Diagon Alley. That should make this a Halloween to remember.

MALFOY MANOR

Has the dust settled then?

For once, we have a Ministry with sensible priorities. I've never cared for the Auror Office. Something about the smell of stale coffee and a Head Auror with the unmistakable scent of having slept in his office too many nights in a row. How kind of the Ministry to relieve him from his stressful, fruitless duties. A Tuesday seems as good a night as any to celebrate.

And I told you any attempt to arrest me was a wasted effort, Dearborn. Are you convinced yet or does your life need to be made more difficult before you'll take my word for it?

DEATH EATERS

Let's all make our new hitwizards' lives hell over the next few weeks. I want to see them snap. Consider that an official mission.

Since the Ministry and Daily Prophet are finally getting serious about our rubbish problem, I suggest they crack down on littering as well. Anyone caught in the act of littering ought to be sent straight to Azkaban, where they spend the rest of their lives on bin duty.

MALFOY MANORS.

Narcissa, when was the last time you purchased new mattresses for your guest bedrooms?