DISORDER JOURNALS

[ORDER]

Do you think we should make some sort of public statement about Ted? You know, before the Death Eaters get a chance to tarnish her memory.

Normally, I'd be all for creative writing, but five wonderful, innocent people are dead thanks to Gerald Avery and his friends, not me.

Catchy title, though.

[ORDER]

They're at it again.

You should all probably check on your families, past or present.

Hestia, if there's anything we can do for you, please do let us know.

[ORDER]

So I told you s as I've pointed out before as I've suspected, my ex-husband, Herbert "Humberto" Pyrites is a Death Eater, and now we have proof. He kidnapped Marjorie's mother and tried to cut her in half at his "magic" "show", but Ted and Andromeda and I fought him and his Death Eating cohorts off.

We need some Healers. Also, who knows about Imperius? I can't let Marjorie see her like this.

I'm going to kill h

I found a new hat today. Do you think this is Marjorie's way of telling me it's time to update my look?

Demi would have been 47 today. I think she would have taken this opportunity to tell all Death Eaters to eat her entire ass. She always did have a way with words.

To the rest of you: keep hanging in there. You matter. You'll get through this.

[ORDER]

Everyone, please check in!

Rolf is very badly injured. He'll need a Healer. Who else?

Dearest Death Eaters—where should I send the bill? Most of the things in that house were priceless, but I'm sure we can work out a payment plan.

Also, you really ought to apologise for unleashing eldritch horrors upon Kent, because now there's nothing to contain them.

If anyone runs into an unspeakable tentacle monster, please do not attempt to negotiate with it. It will only make rude noises, then insult your mother.

It's been 25 years since
Demi would have wanted

Herbert Pyrites, if you're reading this, you can stop sending me 'gifts'. I can't tell if you're trying to (re-)marry me or murder me, but I can tell you now that I'm not interested in either. Good day to you, Sir.

Unrelated, Marjorie keeps asking me for a winged pony for Christmas, but I'm thinking that perhaps that's a bit over-the-top even for me. Where would we keep it? It's hard enough to keep the house clean without tiny horses nibbling on the chandeliers.

Alternate suggestions are most welcome!

Also, unrelated to the previous unrelated portion, who do I have to petition to get 'God Rest Ye, Merry Hippogriffs' banned forever? It was always Demeter's favourite, but I'm tired of being haunted by her terrible taste in Christmas carols even now.

[ORDER]

Those six people

Applesauce is ready for winter!

( Photo beneath the cut. )

Just wanted to remind you all that the annual Galleons For Goblins drive is on now, raising funds for our goblin friends in need. Please give generously, for as the old saying goes, "[something inspiring in Gobbledegook]".

[ORDER]

The circumstances may have changed, but our objective has not: perhaps we may still help the Muggleborn witches and wizards of Diagon, but we'll have to act quickly.

Perhaps we can consult with those who we've already rescued to get some idea of how many remain.

Thoughts and ideas?

My favourite magical lattes are back! They make you feel like a soft-bodied cephalopod floating through the ocean for several minutes. If you're really lucky, you might change colour a bit. What a time to be alive!

[ORDER]

I don't think it's presumptuous of me to say that I think we're all feeling a little helpless these days, so while we wait for a few things to come to fruition, let's do something productive to pass the time.

There are some Death Eaters we all know—the ones who are vocal about it, the ones who escaped from Azkaban, the ones we've otherwise unmasked—but there are many we do not know about. My question to you folks is this: who else do you think we need to be wary of and why?

I'll start:

Family members of Death Eaters.

Purists who are cuddling up close to Death Eaters.

My seventh and least favourite ex, Humberto, who sent me a dozen dead doves in the post this morning. Charming, really.

Who's on your list of people to watch out for?

Dementors are charming creatures.

Friends and gentlepeople, practice your Patronus.

Normally I tell Marjorie that one should always be as honest as possible, but today she told me my tie made me look like a dork, so I'm starting to rethink that advice.

[ORDER]

Hello! Let's check in. Where are we on Operation: Help The Wandless? I've devised a couple of potential strategies we could use to smuggle in food and supplies until we're ready to evacuate those poor people, but I don't want to step on any toes.

[40+ FRIENDS]

Remember when we could all just go out and get some drinks? I miss that. Tell me something good about your lives! Regale me with your tales.

[TED]

Are you holding up okay? I'm a little offended that you haven't sent me a postcard.