DISORDER JOURNALS

Yo dipshits in the Order and otherwise,

Patricia Annabelle Stimpson (did you know that was her full name? lol) is being held for the crimes of aiding and abetting a terrorist organisation and will continue to be held and probably sent to Azkaban.

If you want me to let her go, the mastermind behind at least one of the following attacks needs to come forward:

1) the attack on the Ministry and the MRC,
2) or the attack at the BOTCH ball,
3) or the Quidditch game,
4) or those who kidnapped the Wandless.

I'll also settle for the murderer of Richenza Selwyn or Willy Locke.

Finally: whoever tried to kill me with that ugly ass scarf, you obviously failed and try not being a coward next time.

still better than you, carmichael.

Cai I got super worried when you didn’t come into work so I stopped by your place.

I’m even more worried about you now. Some of these books. ‘Scouts in Bondage’? ‘I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much’? ‘It’s Not Going To Get Any Better When You Grow Up’? ‘Everything I Want To Do Is Illegal’?

If you turn yourself in now, we’ll get you the help you need. I promise we won’t recreate ‘The Night Dad Went To Jail’. Bring your baby sister too and we absolutely won’t see if ‘Children Are No Match For Fire’.

why is there so much paperwork when you start a new job?

[ DMLE ]

so who wants to show me the ropes?

[ THEA, WILLY, MICHAEL, SINISTRA ]

drinks are on me once i get my first pay.

is that fire in diagon?

[ DEATH EATERS ]

😏😏😏

wigtown wanderers are the best team hands down

[ IMOGEN ]

’member when we went shopping for my wand

[ S16 + MICHAEL & ROLF ]

knock knock

[ THEA, WILLY, MICHAEL ]

i need to break up fred and angelina. do you think he’d mind if i killed her?

[ FRED ]

heeey. 😏

what a glorious day.

[ DEATH EATERS ]

i’m going to blow up the weasley shop

[ HUGO ]

hi sir. i know you’re probably really busy but i’m wondering if you have some time if you could help me with some duelling stuff?

blah blah blah btw astrology is fake stupid and dangerous

[ THEA, MICHAEL & WILLY ]

i’m going to kill fred weasley. and everyone he cares about.

[ DEATH EATERS ]

so uh do you think i can ask the old man in the cellar to fix my wand?

[ THEA'S FRIENDS ]

so it's thea's birthday on the weekend and she wants to do dinner and dancing and we need to make it really great for her. ideas?

[ RABASTAN ]

are there any rules or protocol or anything about telling someone you're a death eater?

[ BECCA ]

did you enjoy the wine?

thank merlin that dumb song got banned.

[ UNDER 30s DEATH EATERS ]

does anyone else hurt like fuck?

[ MALFOYS ]

i won the duel. against eddie, i mean.

[ RABASTAN]

i got the caput exspiravit curse to work properly

[ GIMOGEN ]

i’m going to be away for a couple of days, leaving monday night

aren’t you supposed to wait until after halloween to play christmas carols?

[ BELLATRIX & EVELYN (+ RABASTAN) ]

hi good morning i don't

I had an idea for something that I wanted to run past you before I went ahead with it - something that will help make the Hitwizard's life hell but also targets THOSE ASSHOLES the muggle loving blood traitor Weasley twins.

I found a curse that produces a ghostly skull thing that knocks people out and I think I'll be able to use it on the front door of their shop so anyone who is stupid enough to shop there will be knocked out. With a little bit of tweaking it will look like they're being attacked by the Dark Mark.

I have other ideas for them as well, I just thought I could start with this.

apparently it's a week for dumb attempts at predictions coz i just got harassed by one of the dumb wandless who wanted me to pay them to read my palm. no thanks.

[ IMOGEN ]

Uncle Lawrence says hi.

[ RABASTAN ]

hi hello hi sir so i found this curse in my uncle's books and i was thinking i'd try casting it on the stupid weasley shop but i'm having some trouble working it out. i was wondering if i could get your advice on it?

[ LAYLA ] added later

avoid the weasley shop for a bit