DISORDER JOURNALS

Hey Joe, now that you're happily engaged is it a good time to tell you I'm dating your sister?

Congrats, by the way.

Okay, good talk, later, mate!!

HA.

[Friends & Family]

HE'S UP.

Or he was up! For a bit! He woke up enough to pretend to have amnesia for a minute, the wanker, but he was awake and I told him most of us were okay and that we bloody won, and he's definitely really loaded on pain potions so he fell asleep after not too long, but he woke up and probably will again soon. Healers still have their limited visitor rule probably because they know we'd all like to drag Montague off into the woods and leave him there to be eaten by insects but ALAS. Good news good news, now we just need Lee to follow suit and things will actually be better.

[Order]

Fred woke up for a bit! Thank Merlin. Thanks to everyone who's checked in or stopped by.

[Fred]

So this'll be... take 3 on the rebuilding our stock?
Fuck.

So, are we staying at Muriel's or moving perman indefinitely into the safehouse with the girls? We're there a lot anyway, but I don't want to crowd them either.

And Muriel's is... not ideal. But then we'd leave poor Ginny with Mum and Dad. Godspeed, little sis.

[Alicia]

Hey, Al. How're you doing with everything?

[Order G16/17]

Who wants to help me go warehouse hunting this week?

[Warded to Fred]

Probably... shouldn't go through with the birthday pranks. Not after Ted and now Diggle and... everything else bloody going on. I guess it's Easter too. Maybe we should see if Mum wants to help us get a nice Easter dinner over to the safehouse for everyone so it's at least little less... awful?

Hey, also - you went to the Ministry with or without a disguise?

Added after Fred's response:
[Warded to Fred/Katie/Ang/Alicia/Lee]

Okay, requests for Easter supper/Birthday feast, go!

[Warded to Mum]

Hey Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum?

If you haven't seen our hoots, WWW is unfortunately taking a hiatus while we recover from the terrorist attack that the DMLE's newest Death Eater Hitwizard hire orchestrated, so please send all complaints via owl to Yaxley's office or dmle@ministry.mag or whatever it is.

We're not gone yet, though. Won't make it that easy for them.

[G16+Katie]

Living at home again is.... a thing. Mum's cooking is pretty great though.
Also, am I still having pain potion side effects or did I read Percy is actually trying to help Layla.

[Weasley Sibs]

Please visit more, Mum hasn't stopped being MUM about me since I got out of Mungo's last week.

[Eddie]

Thanks for the well-wishes and the pillow was great. I'd apologize again for warding you out of the shop but the DEs took care of that for us, so I guess we don't need to worry about it anymore.

If Montague says anything to you, do you think you could let us know?

[Warded to Friends/Fam]

Good news, it's even easier to tell Fred and I apart now.

[Order]

OKAY, whew, finally got this ward to work. Took a few.

Hey Order DMLE, just a heads up, you're about to get flooded with 'Muggleborn sighting' tips - they're not real, no Muggleborns were harmed in this prank, they will lead to a lot of (hopefully unsuspecting and embarrassed) purists' places.

Better luck next time, Montagross.

[Order]

So, good news/bad news: good news is, everyone here slept like a log and every hair on our heads are fine. Bad news, Montague decided to come by the shop in the middle of the night last night and try to blast his way in. Luckily for us, he's an idiot who thinks we don't have the Order backing up our ward work ESPECIALLY against known Death Eaters so everything just bounced right off - including him. And I have it on muggle film thanks to Remus's security tips. It's a right laugh, anyone want to see it you just let me know. I don't really know if this is his grudge or retaliation for the Starbeaks incident or what but man I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Idiot didn't even wear his mask. Probably since sending this to the DMLE would of course do a whole lot of nothing, but still. Someday.

[Warded to Percy]

Hey.

[Warded to Mum]

Mum, can I come by for dinner sometime this week?

[Warded to G16/17]

How about a get tog Who needs che Three goblins and a vampire walk into a
So I'm taking orders for Mum. Who needs comfort food and what do you want?

[Warded to Weasleys]

I'm warding up the shop and flat specifically against her, but Bill if you could come check my work?

Also, if you have a particularly nasty curse or two to add, I'll give you a shield hat free of charge. And you know, my eternal gratitude.

Mum, Dad, we all alright?

[Warded to Percy+Oliver]

You two okay?

[Warded to Alicia, Ang, & Katie]

Is there anything Fred or I can do?

[Warded to Francine]

I'm sorry, Francine.

[Order]

Fred's better, thanks so much, Jeremy. And Mum!

As for these ID tags, we probably have to get them if we want the shop to stay in business as much as I'd like to just... not. Though I wonder if we can put up some sort of "No IDs Needed" up inside, Fred? There's always owl delivery too, but yeah. I'm going to try and get ahold of one to strip it down - see if there's any truth to the 'not tracking your movements' line. If they don't have some sort of monitoring charms though, they could easily be used to ward people out of places, or target groups with x on their IDs with certain hexes wards when they try and cross thresholds.

This is rubbish, basically.

[Percy & Fred]

He's better, now. If you want to stop by.

[Fred]

Sorry about everyone who swarmed you yesterday, you know how Mum and Dad get.

[Order]

Hello hello, Order healer-types, could anyone pop over to the shop? My illustrious twin seems to have been hit with... well, I recognise a conjunctivitis hex when I see one, but he's seeing things that are not exactly real too and Katie and I are starting to get a bit worried. I can take him to Mungo's if you think I should, but considering this could be retaliation for a host of things I wasn't sure. We deal with illusions more than hallucinations in our products so I'm kind of stumped here.

[Percy]

Likely percentage chance that these new ID badges all have tracking charms on them? Don't suppose you've seen a prototype?

Also if you're talking to Fred today, cut him slack, I think he's a bit ill.

[Order]

Well, Alicia and I are back from Operation: Put Out Firey Ficuses and we're okay other than being wet and reeking of smoke. Definitely think it was Death Eater oriented based on my initial attempt to put it out caused it to spontaneously combust and explode into more fire.

This shit got old so long ago and it's just getting OLDER.

[Friends & Weasleys (Minus Percy)]

Okay sorry for living under a rock for the last couple weeks I have been buried in our new and IMPROVED line of defensive products.

Who wants to help protect the citizens of Wizarding (and Muggle!) Britain alike by helping me TEST them

[Order minus Molly & Arthur Weasley]

Heeeeeeeeeeeey Bill, oh brother of ours, esteemed cursebreaker we know and love,

Could you please get over to the shop like ASAP we have a cursed door situation (We're all fine for the most part!) It doesn't seem deadly but customers are getting both a scare and sometimes nauseous and we didn't do it this time and it's not like, FUN scary or FUN dizzy which is our brand soooo we're thinking it's a not-great thing but want to make sure it's not actually dangerous?

Fred, ideas for how to have customers come and go without touching the door or are we closing for an extended lunch break while we sort out technical difficulties?

[Angelina & Alicia]

Sooooooooo on a scale of 1 to strangling me, how mad do you think Fred will be if I told him I had lunch with Percy?

[Fred]

Work night tomorrow night? Or are do you and Ang have ~plans?~

[Katie]

Hey you, checking in.

[Order]

Any way to let the Wandless know we've got supplies and where to find us without completely giving them/us away to Death Eaters? Thought Hooter but - [Ward ends abruptly]

[Percy]

WAIT HOLD UP DID YOU SAY YOU WERE LEAKING THINGS ON HOOTER?

[Order ward resumed]

Sorry, product malfunction ANYWAY, was thinking Hooter but that'd just invite DE's to pretend they're Muggleborns or Wandless who need us to lure us into traps.

[Order G16/17]

So spell-deflecting sunglasses is probably a thing we should work on, eh, Fred? I was too busy getting my shoulder popped back into place to get to check on anyone after Lee dragged my pathetic (yet always illustrious) arse out of there. You know, your typical Thursday afternoon.

Everyone okay?

[Percy]

Tell me her face was priceless.

[Fred]

I've an idea.

[Order]

Do we know anyone at the Ministry who can get their hands on that registration paperwork?

[Percy]

Did you like the card?

[Friends] (George is social, jump in if you think it makes sense!)

I know we're all distracted by the rubbish government but I've got something I need some help with AND it's way more fun than reflecting on the corrupt system of oppression we're apparently dealing with in this day of our lord 2017: Give me as many bad pun prank names as possible. I promise, cross my heart, it's for a good cause.