DISORDER JOURNALS

[ AUROR OFFICE + RHYS]

Hey. I just wanted to let you all know that I won’t be returning to the Auror Office and instead have accepted a position in the Minister’s Office as a policy advisor. It was a privilege serving as an Auror with you and I wish you all the best.

[ LAKSHMI, LUMOS, JESS + RHYS ]

So, I’m out of hospital, I broke up with Jasper, I have a new job and I need a new place to live.

[ THEODORE ]

How’s the garden looking?

[ “FORMER” AURORS ]

Is Divya ok?

[ ORDER ]

Hey. How is everyone?

[ 02-05 ]

Roll call?

There seem to be a fuck load more dementors around these days. What’s up, Death Eaters? Did you miss your old pals so much you had to bring them in closer to home?

you lavvy-heided wankstains want to know who is behind @rogueaurors?

it's me.

so come and find me. i know plenty of lochs i can drown you in, or i can always find a pit of hellfire to send you back from where you were spat out

[ ORDER ]

1) I was the one to kill Keats Avery. He was torturing my friend, I responded and tried to disable him, it was an accident. Don’t @ me.

2) Since it’s becoming more obvious that Victoria Mulciber is probably a Death Eater, we need to look at any and all floo connections we have, even old or disused ones. The ministry can reconnect them any time unless the connections are destroyed on the property side.

I recommend we all ensure those connections are destroyed, and have Hestia properly ward the place of connection as an extra layer of protection.

3) anyone have anything in mind for what else we should do next?

[ CLEMENT ]

I can't believe you're a fucking Death Eater. How long have you been laughing behind my back about joining the group that killed my family? Do you know who killed them? Did you join with Dante? Did you enjoy killing Byron? Was it you that tried to kill Jasper when he was in hospital? Though I'm sure you got one of your minions to perform the actual deed. You're disgusting.

[ JASPER ]

Hi.

[ ORDER ]

I don't know where we're at at keeping track of likely Death Eaters, but you can upgrade Clement Max from purist scumbag to likely Death Eater.

I also have confirmation that Hugo Nott has always been lying about being under the Imperius, I'm sure everyone is shocked. His wife lied at his trial the first time around, I have excerpts from her diary to back this up. He was also hit by a curse at the Department of Mysteries that is killing him, presuming my source can be trusted.

I'm sure it will come out soon enough, but Byron Kettleburn was murdered last night. It looked like they used the Cruciatus on him before they killed him. A cursory examination of his desk made me think he was one of the writers behind the Beacon.

You know, Death Eaters, I don’t think you’re feeling very comfortable despite all of that control you have.

[ ORDER ]

Can confirm that Dedalus is deceased. We’ve retrieved his body. I recommend cremation for obvious reasons.

I’m making a list of Death Eaters to target in the upcoming weeks, if you have names or want to call dibs now is the time for it.

Edit: Owen and I took another look through the gallery. From what we could find out, Dedalus snuck in with the cleaners and tampered some of the exhibits. Mulciber Survellaince and Security was providing security, so I think we can safely assume Evelyn Mulciber or her daughter was responsible for this.

[ DMLE ]

I checked out those reports of a disturbance in [area where the Gentle Green is]. It’s just more of those hoax reports, in case any more come in. I’m currently scolding a bunch of idiots.

[ JASPER ]

Someone destroyed the Gentle Green! Rhys and Nora are fine but I’m PISSED.

[ FORMER AURORS ]

So with Jasper fired and the increase in Death Eater incidents, I think it might be worth getting some of the Hits helping with maintaining the case files. Gilbert’s been helping with copying reports for me and I know Jasper had talked to Chelsea, but is there anyone else you think we can trust with this?

DEs are obviously automatically excluded, and I wouldn’t trust Travers either. But. Thoughts?

[ 02s-05s ]

Someone told me today not to worry about getting older, I’m still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.

Please tell me someone has an entertaining story of something dumb they’ve done recently.

Dante, it was bad enough when you killed a muggle just because you couldn’t figure out how to work a portaloo. Was it you or your daddy who killed two just because you can’t figure out how to be a teacher?

[ ORDER ]

There are over 790 offshore Scottish islands, and only about 90 of them are inhabited.

I'm working through some Muggle lists of the other 700-odd to see what could be potentially used to house Death Eaters. How's your Friday night going?

[ FORMER AURORS ]

I think we're due for a new round of burner phones.

[ BIRDIE ]

Let's post something about Gawain. I'm still furious. And we owe Clement that prank.

When I was a kid, I wanted to grow up to be Venusia Crickerley, the first woman to be an Auror and Minister of Magic. Who did you want to be when you grew up?

On this day in 1821, Muggle poet John Keats died of tuberculosis. His gravestone is anonymous, and reads 'Here lies One Whose Name was writ in Water,' by his own request, as he believed he would not be remembered after his death.

I always find it so sad to read about brilliant artists being so insecure about their work. His poetry is exquisitely beautiful, it's a shame this wasn't properly recognised until after he passed.

Personal ‘gifts’ should not be sent to a person’s workplace, no matter how funny you think you’re being.

[ LAKSHMI & LUMOS ]

He didn’t laugh in my face! But now we’re being sent wedding cakes full of blood.

[ 02-05 ]

I didn’t realise you were still so sore over being dumped, Clement. Call off whichever idiot friend of yours sent that monstrosity.

[ FORMER AURORS ]

Mrs Robards is settled in the safe house and continues to show no further signs of Imperius. She’s been Obliviated of all memories since shortly before her husband was killed.

She’s safe enough for now, but I imagine she would probably like to go home at some point. Thoughts?

One of the stories about St Valentine is that he would marry couples in secret so the husband wouldn’t have to go off to war. I think I’m a bit on the fence about this — should marriage keep you off the battle fields? Should you deliberately help people flout the law? Or is it sweet that he was helping these couples to be together?

[ NON-PURIST OBLIVATORS & HEALERS ]

So I have pub full of Muggles needing oblivating and one that needs healing if anyone is around. I’m at [coordinates for a muggle pub in Glasgow].

[ FORMER AURORS ]

Rabastan Lestrange found me in a muggle pub! I don’t know how!

Personally I've always found Polyjuice claims to be a little too convenient for my tastes.

[ FORMER AURORS ]

I don't think I've ever been more proud of my name showing up in the newspaper. But I still think Rosier is a pathetic little shit for leaking the conversation.

[ DMLE (excluding Yaxley ) ]

The evil Christmas decorations were not me and I don’t recommend trying to take them down.

[ TONKS ]

Is Hooter right?

[ JASPER ]

I have to update some of my paperwork and you’re going down as my emergency contact.

34 days until Christmas!

“By attacking the Leaky, the message is clear: the Death Eaters intend to ensure that the Ministry’s laws are followed.”

I think you mean their own laws, as destruction of property is still a regular crime. Death Eaters only give a damn about the law when it suits them.

[ JASPER ]

You are ridiculous. But thank you.

I can thoroughly recommend the hospitality at the Gentle Green B&B. I've never had a more relaxing weekend away.