DISORDER JOURNALS

fainted
disorderjournal

So just wanted to check in, make sure everyone is you know alive. Shit has been crazy and all that. I know I've sort of been radio silence lately. You know just trying to keep calm and keep my head down. But yeah just hi, I'm still alive and hope you are too.

fainted
disorderjournal

You don't need to tell me anything whether involved or not, but just wanted to check in.

You don't have to say much just checking in you are okay.

fainted
disorderjournal

Umm so what did you guys do?

I just the last, god knows how many hours, being questioned by Graham and other Ministry employees and asked about all of you specifically and what I know. I didn't say anything not that I know anything.

I was also questioned about the quidditch match and trying to stop a Death Eater from helping the public and they tossed around charges like public endangerment.

So yeah... just thought you all should know.

I would like to cry right now but I am not and proud I haven't yet, not crumbled into a ball of panic. I was dragged into the Ministry and questioned about our friends and the quidditch match with charges of public endangerment.

fainted
disorderjournal

More howlers about things. Serious considering quitting but then what else can I do. Not like I am qualified to do much. Not like I do much. I feel like I should be doing more to help out rather than hiding. At least keeping up with the fitness thing from Roger so that's a positive. So I'm not entirely useless. But still sort of freaked out by the whole Death Eater attack and now sort of feel like the more shit happens the less I wanna even venture outside. But it is stupid to let fear, no more like worry, dictate my life. Really need to work on that whole don't feel pathetic thing cause I'm not, entirely pathetic.

fainted
disorderjournal

ROGER IS A MEAN SADISTIC YOUNG MAN. EVERYTHING HURTS!

fainted
disorderjournal

The Healer have left me alone for half a second. Just wanted to say I'm okay and wanted to check in with everyone else.

fainted
disorderjournal

You were wrong.

fainted
disorderjournal

GRAHAM IS A DEATH EATER! WHAT THE FUCK!

fainted
disorderjournal

SO LIKE PEOPLE AT THE RALLY ARE THEY OKAY OR WHAT! ARRESTED RIGHT? UGH

I have Henry I'm attempting to stay calm. But like what happened? Do people know? So many questions.

fainted
disorderjournal

So uh, the ID cards. Thoughts? Seems kind of crazy doesn't it?

fainted
disorderjournal

So, death eaters are scary. Is that a list of... you know I don't want to know. Between Death Eaters being scary as fuck and Dementors attacking people who are just trying to have a nice latte I can see why my father chose to live in the muggle world.

Would you be able to give me some help with the Patronus, I am nowhere near being able to produce one and apparently I need it.

fainted
disorderjournal

How is everyone else feeling? I woke up with a cat on my face. At least it wasn't Willy.

fainted
disorderjournal

• I do not like feeling like a soft-bodied cephalopod floating through the ocean
  
• I do not look good purple
  
• Awkwardly waving at one of the guests at works when the host who is actually waiting for them is behind is facepalm worthy and I will continue to overthink about this for days to come.
  
• I want a cat more than life itself right now
  
• Hogwarts: A history makes a good door stop
  
• I think I can flirt but absolutely cannot
  
• The guy at the coffee place who was trying to point out your were purple and had crumbs on your face was not attempting to seduce you
  
• I will be single forever
  
• My own awkwardness will haunt me for life.
  
• I repeatedly accidentally scared myself with front camera!

fainted
disorderjournal

Everything is going to continue to suck for a while... isn't it.

It would be cowardly to run to the Muggle World. Yes. The answer is yes, Patricia. You can remain calm. You can do this. You won't start panicking. You are better than this. Panicking is for things like exams and life stresses. THIS IS A LIFE STRESS. No, that thought is not helpful. Stop it. Maybe I should work out take my mind off things. HAHA work out. This is helping just writing nonsense. Maybe I should do that more. BUT that isn't helpful. When am I ever helpful? I was helpful when friends got hurt. I got them clothes. That was helpful right. I'me useless. Oh god everything sucks. WHY is the world like this.