DISORDER JOURNALS

Question time: Does it say anything about the efficacy of the MRC that they've had one of their own employees arrested for being a muggleborn?

JASPER

I don't know what to say but let me know if there's anything I can do. Delivering takeaway,
alcohol, dart boards with Death Eater faces on them. Just a sample of my arsenal.

LAKSHMI

Can I ask you something I've probably got no business asking you about?

HESTIA

Got a minute?

BBG

I've got my mind set on a couple stories I could use your help with.

My father sent me a snap of a newly hatched Peruvian Vipertooth. It's the first time in two years he's Apparently they turn copper with age. He wanted me to know he's decided to name it after Gawain Robards, which obviously has a very Peruvian ring to it. If you ask me, his name would have been much better suited to a Common Welsh Green, but I'm not the magizoologist in the family, so what do I know?

HUGO NOTT

Congratulations, sir. I assume your plans for a quiet retirement have changed in the wake of yesterday's events.

DAILY PROPHET

I'm confused.

CURRENT & FORMER DMLE FRIENDS
(I realized there are a bunch of them and I don't want to leave any out, so if you think they'd be friends, throw them in!)

What happened last night? This isn't official. I'm not reporting on it. I just want to know.

GWEN & BETTY

Andy's dead.

LUMOS

This isn't a hext but it's close enough. What's good?

Happy birthday to my esteemed friend and coworker, Gwendolyn Vane. I didn't get you a card, so pretend this is it. I also didn't get you a gift, but you get to work with me, so isn't that the best gift of all? (Everyone but Francine Goldstein will agree.)

ANDY, BETTY AND GWEN

So we're all on board with this. Let's just make sure there's no doubt about our credibility. No cryptomagizoology news or comic sans or conspiracy theories. Next to the Daily Prophet and the WWN, it's all going to sound like conspiracy theories enough as it is.

I've got a prototype nearly completed. And I think I've managed a decent duplication charm. We just need stuff to write about. Andy and I've talked about starting with the MRC and these Ministry IDs. People should be more aware of what they're doing and the fact that they're sitting ducks as long as they have them. So, that's the goal. Assuming anyone reads it.

But it's just a start. Where do the rest of you want to go with this?

ANDY AND JASPER

Hey, Jasper. On a scale from 1 to 10, how dangerous are you feeling lately?

I'm now taking suggestions for how to get "Can't Get You Out of My Head" out of my head.

ANDY & GWEN

I've gathered some sensitive information. You two are the only ones I trust with this right now. In addition to using Umbridge's super special quills for detentions and sending teenagers to spend the night in the Forbidden Forest, it seems Hogwarts has its very own vigilante group.

FRANCINE

I can't believe I'm asking this, but how do you start a blog?

Not feeling the holiday spirit this year so I got myself some holiday spirits. Time to find out what all those people see in Christmas Prince.

DAILY PROPHET

So, I take it we're not covering the Death Eater factory at Hogwarts?

'02 DETENTION CLUB

Can we nix secret santa altogether and make it a white elephant thing? I can't give serious gifts. Christmas is a joke.