DISORDER JOURNALS

OWEN.

What are the things that are keeping you from taking Kevin and joining Zef?

BAZ.

Apparently Starbeak's specialty latte over the weekend pretty much did exactly what they said it would. Is it wrong that I'm a little disappointed?

I hope you all had a very fine Saturday. Unless you're a Death Eater, then I do hope you choked on your green beer.

Most of us know of Patrick as the holy man who drove snakes out of Ireland, but that's not all he did. Found in the 13th century text, On the Marvels of Ireland, is a story wherein he visited a clan that began to howl at him during his preaching. So upset by their cheek, Patrick prayed that God might teach them some sort of lesson. God obliged him and turned these men into wolves, so much that; "all the members of that clan are changed into wolves for a period and roam through the woods feeding upon the same food as wolves; but they are worse than wolves, for in all their wiles they have the wit of men, though they are as eager to devour men as to destroy other creatures."

A few uncouth scholars have suggested that this story is the origin of the werewolf, that we are come from these Irish clans and have effectively spread throughout Britain. I find it a lot of bunk and codswallop by individuals who would like to taint Muggles and Magical Creatures in one fell swoop. Werewolves existed long before Saint Patrick.

However, it is for this reason that on Saint Patrick's Day, I choose to raise a glass to Saint Gertrude instead.

[ORDER]

This is me, checking in with you. I won't be ignorant enough to ask you if you're all right, but would like to know that you are safe, warm and plotting. Should you need anything, you know I'm right here for you.

ALICIA SPINNET.

Good morning, Ms. Spinnet. Could I have a moment of your time?

JASPER WILLIAMSON.

Are you part of
You'd tell me if

It's quiet at the office without your dumb face lurking around.

If anyone is heading to the Ostara festival in Hogsmeade tomorrow night, please exercise extra caution.

GWEN.

My weird recurring dream is back.

Great news! I got fired the other day and am no longer employed by the fucked up DMLE who would rather spend their resources looking into finding members of the Order, who haven't actually killed anyone in the last few months, instead of solving actual crime.

And since The Daily Prophet can't publish anything that isn't Death Eater propaganda, I'd love to take a moment to confirm the following: rather than allowing a trained, experience Auror respond to members of the public in danger, my esteemed former superior, "Ar." Corban Yaxley sent me off to rescue cats. According to my count, I've retrieved and filed paperwork for approx. 73 cats.

Please forward your feedback to c.yaxley@dmle.mom.mag

WARDED TO FRIENDS.

Meanwhile, if anyone wants to give me something to look into now that I have all the fucking time in the world, do it now, or I'm fucking off to find Luca.

My dear friends, I have a very exciting announcement to share with you.

I am proud to reveal that (with the assistance of my endlessly talented goddaughter, Valkyrie Avery, and the support of the Ministry of Magic's Department of Magical Games and Sports) I will be hosting Tinworth's first annual duelling tournament on the 14th of April. All proceeds will go to Benefactors of Traditional Cultural Heritage.

The tournament itself will be held at Parson's Green Farm, a delightful spot of land close to my own cottage. There will be an initial Round-Robin style round of qualifiers, followed by quarter, semi and finals. The prize is to be announced.

Names must be entered to my address, with a closing date of 30th March. The age limit is 17, although sadly I was unable to hold this during the Hogwarts holidays for my son to enter. Not that anyone will be subject to preferential treatment, ha ha.


DUELLING STUDENTS.

I expect you all to enter, and to be competing to win.

DEATH EATERS.

I trust that some of you will attend this event, as I expect it will be useful to scope out potential talent to target for recruitment.

I would also appreciate prize donations, if anyone can spare it. Since I expect one of my own students to win, I would rather that cursed objects were correctly labelled for the prize table.

FORMER AURORS.

My flat was broken into earlier today and my mother hurt. Two assailants, one male and one female. My mother says she thinks she recognised the voice of the male, but cannot be certain about that fact. No other identifying factors. They used the cruciatus curse and stabbed her. She is recovering now, we patched up the stab wound. This M.O. should be worth comparing with the information we have on file. I’d say it could be the same as the Death Eater who visited Bell except they did more than that one reportedly did. Anyway, I have theories.

More importantly, they gave her a message about the @rogueaurors Hooter account and that it needed to stop.

[...]

[...]

I don’t know which of you is @rogueaurors, if it’s everyone or maybe not even anyone here and an imposter. I’m not sure if I want to know. But if you can see this ward, I support you. I didn’t before Don’t let intimidation silence you.

Please everyone keep safe.

ANGELUS.

The nice bottle of Scotch you got me has been broken and split all over the carpet. I need to mourn it appropriately.

PARTY GUESTS

Thank you all for coming to my lovely party organised by my ever-so-darling best friend, Sinistra. It truly was a night to remember, and I hope you all had a great time, as well!!!

"The promise of spring's arrival is enough to get anyone through the bitter winter."

I am SO ready for it to be spring!!

Today I learned that in some countries it is illegal to perform surgery on octopi without anesthesia due to their intelligence. I don't eat octopus for the same reason. Besides, I, for one, welcome our eight limbed overlords.

WARDED TO DEATH EATERS UNDER 35

So we're going to fuck shit up at the tournament, right?

For the last time, catnip tea only gives cats visions. It'll help you if you have to evacuate some poo, but you'll not divine the future by drinking the stuff alone.

[FRIENDS]
You have my leave to assume, if you'd like.

In holding a conversation with a friend this afternoon, it came to my attention that we're all in league with living in a world that is not quite in keeping with normalcy. Because I say to hell with normalcy, but always yes to living well, I'm going to hold a dinner party.

At the very least, this will get you all boned up and ready to go for the Easter sprint.

Bring your favourite drink to my place at LOCATION in Hampstead on 28 March at 20:00.

[ALICIA]

Brunch for Easter? Dawlish is poking around about you. I told him we don't speak.