DISORDER JOURNALS

I would have thought there'd be less hooliganism now that sport is cancelled.

[DEATH EATERS UNDER 35]

Who's pissing you off lately? Does anyone need help with anything?

Clement, my good man, do you need us to kill your ex's new beau for you?

Also we should have a party, since the last one got ruined.

[AVERYS]

Did anyone get a chance to talk to any of our foreign guests? They must think us Britons terribly gauche, but perhaps we can turn some of those frowns upside-down.

Thanks to Rhys Cadwallader's recommendation of pineapple fizzy drink, I started experimenting with ways to mix it for other delicious non-alcoholic drink options. This one is my favourite:




I've named it "Lava Dream" in honour of this weirdly cute video about volcanoes that someone uploaded onto Wiztube. You could add rum to this drink if you wanted it to be alcoholic, but I think it tastes great as is.

Personal ‘gifts’ should not be sent to a person’s workplace, no matter how funny you think you’re being.

[ LAKSHMI & LUMOS ]

He didn’t laugh in my face! But now we’re being sent wedding cakes full of blood.

[ 02-05 ]

I didn’t realise you were still so sore over being dumped, Clement. Call off whichever idiot friend of yours sent that monstrosity.