DISORDER JOURNALS

ROBARDS

I'm writing up that press conference about Moody investigating you for corruption. Is there anything you’d like on the record?

JASPER

The Robards corruption allegations — complete shit, right?

FRIENDS.

So. They left us dead bodies for when we got out.

DEATH EATERS.

Motion to make DMLE holding's food better. Anyway:

[list of names of protesters]

Melanie Wheeler and Lewis Carrick got away before getting arrested, fwiw.

[...] I'll deal with Francine myself.

Do you all hate culture? You bloody vandals.

DMLE.

The Pureblood exhibit has been vandalized. We're going to need Hits on scene.

AVERYS, MALFOYS, LESTRANGES.

Clearly pro-muggle fucks are out to ruin your days. Don't come by the exhibit today. They've vandalized it.

guys have you seen this amazing bloody video: Link

its bloody fantastic you won't see anything better

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE.

sup. i know you're like the big woman in the dark lord's circle and i wanna be a death eater.

CORBAN YAXLEY.

i gotta proposition for you mr yaxley. everyones always talking about our hair so i figure, what if we did some wiztube vids on hair care?

Just as a handy FYI to Tinworth residents, there are people who seem to be taking candidate lawn signs as an invitation to show up and act like a dick. Decorate responsibly.

I utterly and completely deny the report that Ar. Moody, or anyone, was investigating me for corruption. I further reject the insinuation of Mr. Yaxley's that "his blood is on my hands". That's completely unfounded.

PERCY.

Given the way this is going I have a task for your Hooter contact.

There are a lot of people who are having a difficult time this year, for a variety of reasons, so I'd like to give back and try to make this holiday season a little brighter. I have some ideas already, but if you know a person or a family who could use the extra help this year, please let me know privately so I can surprise them personally before Christmas.

It often seems like there isn't much I can do to help anyone, which I'm sure is something that other people can relate to, too. But I guess if this helps bring a smile to just one kid's face, that's something.

On another note, the annual Quidditch calendar is out. All proceeds go to charity, so please buy one. Or five! Or more, I won't judge.

FERGUS:

Now that you're no longer arrested 😑 have you heard anything from your cousin lately? The hoots from the Quibbler weren't totally off-base this time, so it might be worth checking in. My sister's miserable.

FRED:

Look, so I know I Are we just going to pretend

KEATON:

I'm sorry about the things I said to you last week. It's just You weren't wrong. I think we could all stand to do more, and I think that's really getting to me, but you weren't wrong.