DISORDER JOURNALS

The moment you get married, you realise you'd rather spend Valentine's Day on your sofa with Netflix and your husband rather than going out. Yes, I do think we're already old.

But it is good to be back at work. The well-oiled machine of the Ministry runs on and seeks to create a safe environment for all.

[WEASLEY FAMILY + ALICIA + ANGELINA + OLIVER]

Read a few things and hearing a few things that are giving me pause, this morning. I just want to make sure everyone's safe.

And again, welcome home, Charlie. Stay a while this time. I'm bringing that plum brandy to you directly. No need to hit up a bar.

[VIOLET]

Why were you there I'm so sorry you were injured.

'02 - '05.

Did most of us escape the Starbeaks debacle unscathed? Their house blend is very smooth, but I'm really not sure it's worth it anymore.

Also, I hope none of you were there last night!

On behalf of my husband, I'm offering a 100ʛ reward to anyone with information that leads to return of four Abraxan horses stolen from our stable last night. For those of you responsible, you will die a painful death. That goes for those responsible for the heinous attack on yesterday's charity gala. You have all made fools of yourself to civilised society and shown your true colours to the world. Not even charity is safe from your terrorism and depravity.

DEATH EATERS

I want a list of Order members and I want there whereabouts now. Not a single one of them should be allowed to live after what they've done. What do we know about them? Who are our suspects? What plans do we have to destroy them?

As a secondary plan of retaliation, I want to show them what happens when they cross us. And because I love a spot of competition, the person who kills the most muggles will be rewarded. Furthermore, the first person to bring me one of the phoenix's heads will be even more handsomely rewarded.

I got to play Room Dad at Kev's daycare yesterday for Valentine's Day. The kids all had a party and gave each other valentine's cards (I'm pretty sure Kevin has like four secret admirers on top of everyone having to give each other one), and we passed out snacks and cookies and juice and things. The mums that were helping out must've been to Starbeaks first because they were also really thirsty for my juice, lol.

This one is the best:

So a bunch of purists and death eaters got a little scared and bruised up at their party, eh? Welcome to the real world. The rest of us have been going through a lot worse for years. Don't expect us to get our knickers in a twist over it.

[ Death Eaters ]

Humberto? Did your ex-husband kill you after all?

[ORDER]

So I told you s as I've pointed out before as I've suspected, my ex-husband, Herbert "Humberto" Pyrites is a Death Eater, and now we have proof. He kidnapped Marjorie's mother and tried to cut her in half at his "magic" "show", but Ted and Andromeda and I fought him and his Death Eating cohorts off.

We need some Healers. Also, who knows about Imperius? I can't let Marjorie see her like this.

I'm going to kill h