DISORDER JOURNALS

Funny how some people leave Hogwarts with all their credentials but remain children. 🙂

It's a bloody JOKE SHOP WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

I've got a bit of a headache coming on so I'm crowd-sourcing ideas. If you had a friend, who was a gorgeous brilliant Quidditch-playing badass, and it was her birthday soon... what would you get her? Asking for a friend. Obvs. Not me.

Dementors are charming creatures.

Friends and gentlepeople, practice your Patronus.

[ Order ]

hello, friends. re wands for the wandless, i've gotten hold of 5 from my friend in brazil, whose accompanying notes i've pared down for easy reading.


• Guarana wand, caipora hair core. Guarana is a huge source of caffeine & caiporas are mischievous spirit-beings, so this wand is probably going to be a fun one that neither of my twin brothers are allowed to even handle.
  
• Paubrasilia (or "brazilwood"), unicorn tail core. The wood is highly prized by musicians, and its wands do best in the hands of creative types.
  
• Jacaranda tree, crystallised fire slug slime core. Excellent for transfiguration.
  
• Tipuana tree, Peruvian Vipertooth heartstring core. A powerful wand that does best when paired with someone who likes to duel. Conflict emboldens it.
  
• Bahia rosewood, curupira hair core. A steady, sturdy wand. Apparently very good at defensive magic.

i've got a few contacts in japan and russia who i'm waiting to hear back from, but we should have more to distribute soon. i'm away until wednesday, but when i get back, i can start talking to the folks who need their stolen wands replacing so we can start pairing them up.

[ Fleur ]

pack for a two night stay somewhere away from here, and plan for an early morning tomorrow.

[ Rabastan Lestrange ]

So would I just make an appointment with your secretary or what.

Obscurus Books is putting out a call for new manuscripts. Due to some previously unforeseen legal circumstances, the company is rescheduling a number of upcoming publications. Don't worry, we'll still have plenty of new publications from some of your favourite authors in time for the holiday season.

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And on a personal note, thanks Mr and Mrs M. for that lovely quill. I'm sure you and your flatmates had a blast getting that all ready for me. And don't worry -- I've learned my lesson. I'll no longer be taking Our Lord Dr*co's name in vain.

I come to you with a thought experiment.

Imagine you're the driver of the Hogwarts Express. You're driving along and suddenly realise that your brakes are no longer working. Due to adaptations and extensive spell work, no charms or magic you will be able to cast on the train would stop it in time. In front of you is a group of five mudbloods on your track. You can veer the train to the other track and only kill one. You know they're mudbloods due to their faces having been spotted in Diagon hanging around and begging previously.

Which one do you choose?

On a lighter note I just found the Fortune A Day calendar my Aunt gave me last Christmas and I haven't read a single one. So I'm going to share the fortunes. They might be out of date, but it could still be fun.

Comment if you want one, or a specific date you want one from. They're all awfully upbeat, I don't think my Aunt believes in bad luck.

taking a poll:

what should will cadwallader do for a halloween costume?

a. cannons quidditch player
b. harpies quidditch player
c. portree quidditch player
d. quidditch player of a different team
e. goddamn it will, halloween costumes should be creative, do something different for once in your life


leaning towards d myself, but will take suggestions.


[RHYS]

1. i forgot grace's birthday. AGAIN. do you think she'd mind getting a set of quidditch gloves? AGAIN.

2. hogsmeade weekend on the 28th. would i be the most embarrassing dad in existence if i insisted on checking up on e. while he's not on school grounds? not being embarrassing is so much harder when there's actually potential death in proximity to... well, everything.

Anonymous owls are all the rage, it seems. Very well. I understand you perfectly.

[WEASLEYS + OLIVER]

But in my limited experience, owlpost is generally a bit less literal.

I ... think some of these are human.

Is it "Blood traitors fuck Harry Potter" or "Blood traitors. Fuck Harry Potter"? If you're going to go to this much effort, at least make your message clear.

[George]

I don't know what fucking paint they used but we have a problem.