Communications

How d'you do, I
See you've met my
Faithful handyman.
He's just a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the candy man.
Don't get strung up by the way I look.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover.
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania.
Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound.
You look like you're both pretty groovy.
Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal,
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

>MAKE IT STOP!

[Kind of NSFW. Will change as needed.]

>> I'm having a trip out on Wednesday. I might need someone to tag along and help.
>> You free?

>> I need you.
>> And not in that kind of way.
>> Something's... I'm scared, and I need someone to just hold me. Please...
>> Before something worse happens

Ring, ring, ring.

[[Obviously NSFW. I blame singing plot]]

Ring, ring, ring.

>>You less busy?

[[Warning! NSFW in comments. Do not click on links if at work! At all!]]

>>Because of you, my girlfriend got jealous.
>>And we had a fight.
>> >:C

>>You sure I'm forgiven?
>>You sure?

>>Help.
>>I'm a dumbass.
>>As you can read.
>>I don't know what to do.

>> You're talking to her as just a friend, right?
>> I'm sorry, I just get a little... jealous sometimes.

>>So... I got to thinking and
>>Uh.
>>Well.
>>Here's the thing.
>>That girl I was asking you all those things about?
>>It's kinda.
>Uhm.


sent 5 minutes later
>>It's kind of you and I was wondering.
>>There's this really cool thing going on at the zoo!
>>Something where you can pet some of the animals.
>>And I thought maybe we could..
>>Go out

>> Stop.
>> For the love of God.
>> I think she's on the verge of decking you.

>>Hey, there's this girl I like and I need help.
>>How do I ask her if she has things she likes.
>>I don't know how to ask girls things.

>>I'm an idiot.
>>Throw me off a cliff please.

>>Hey!
>>So!
>>I have a place now!
>>And saw a doctor!
>>On some strong ass painmeds.

>>All moved in.
>>But what am I allowed to take from the fridge?
>>I'm starved.

>> I can't thank you enough for doing this.
>> Come by [here], any time you feel like. Text me when you're at the door and I'll let you in.