Communications

How d'you do, I
See you've met my
Faithful handyman.
He's just a little brought down
Because when you knocked
He thought you were the candy man.
Don't get strung up by the way I look.
Don't judge a book by its cover.
I'm not much of a man by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover.
I'm just a sweet transvestite
From Transexual, Transylvania.
Let me show you around
Maybe play you a sound.
You look like you're both pretty groovy.
Or if you want something visual
That's not too abysmal,
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

>MAKE IT STOP!

[Kind of NSFW. Will change as needed.]

( Creepy text to Frodo Baggins from Luthien's stolen phone )

Ring... Ring...


Trigger warnings for kidnapping and endangerment.

>>Hey Kids.

>>My Saint Pat's was WAY better than yours, arrests and all
( image and SO NOT SAFE FOR WORK IN THE COMMENTS )

>>Look what I filmed for you.

( NSFW stuff after cut )

[Roland]
>> I need your help
>> Merrill has gone missing
>> And I received a threatening text message from Smeagol

( [Song Lyrics] )

[Text to Hank McCoy]
>> Are you song-free?

[Text to Zach Jupiter]
>> Is this weirding you out, too?

[Text to Peter Parker]
>> If you got a strange message from me, you can just delete it.

[Identical texts to Tara Smith and John Smith]
>> I'm an idiot. A complete and total waste of space.
>> But Im a creep, Im a weirdo. / What the hell am I doing here? / I don't belong here.

( You have one Message! )

( Message to Laura )