Communications

Dr. Crane --

I'm writing in hopes that you're still interested in seeing me. My family seems thrilled by the idea of my taking steps to help myself.

My current medications are as follows:

1. Lexapro (for the downswings)
2. Xanax (for the upswings)
3. Abilify (to increase the effectiveness of the other two)
   
4. Deplin (ibid)
5. Adderall (as needed for my research and teaching schedule)
   
6. Clonazepam (as needed for my worse bouts of insomnia)

The first four I take daily, the other two I take more sporadically. Though in truth I take most of them sporadically, but theoretically the first four are to be taken each night before bed.

Do you do talk therapy as well? Some feel that's more helpful than medications.

Yours,
Gabriel Hamlet

In this coming semester there will be several new rules implemented, due to some pet peeves that have developed over the past few semesters.

Rule #1: There will be no cellphones in class. Full stop. If I hear a cellphone go off or catch a student texting, the cellphone in violation of this rule will be thrown out the window. If it so happens that the room we are in has windows that do not or can not be opened (ie: the lecture hall with the wasp's nest), the phone will be placed on the window sill with the battery removed as a warning to others.

Rule #2: All essays must be stapled or somehow stuck together (but remain readable) before being turned in. To test this, all future essays will be thrown down the stairwell. Those that come apart will not be graded.

Rule #3: Please use proper grammar in your essays. For the love of all that is sacred, this is an English course.

Also outlawed are the following verbs:
- to be
- to have
- to go
- to do
- to want
- to feel

These verbs are dull, repetitive space fillers. Any instance of these verbs in your essays will result in five points off your final grade. In order to avoid this, rough drafts may be turned in to me for checking up to two days prior to the final due date.

Sincerely yours,
Professor Hamlet.