Musings

[text to b. mercer]

I don't think I've quite recovered yet from the Masquerade. Yet more proof, of course, that it was indeed a 'howling success' - although I'd like to know exactly what about my tryst with a certain ringwraith could have possibly been considered 'less-than-savory'. As far as I'm concerned, that was a completely morally inoffensive affair. I'm inclined to point out that I will do whatever I please in the men's room at my own restaurant, on Halloween and my birthday no less.

I must say, Seattle - well done. You outdid yourselves spectacularly.
I'll be billing you all for the cost of replacing the carpets.

Brigs Mercer.


Oh, and darling?
Next time, perhaps don't try so hard to break my mirrors.

[Public]
The individuals who left those syringes are clearly trying to distract the residents from their preparations for the Masquerade.

I am thoroughly unimpressed and taking it as a personal affront.


[Locked to Centro staff]

I will be dressed as [costume description].

Check in with your costumes as soon as you've acquired them. Remember, you are all under agreement to refrain from disclosing the identities of other staff members to any outside parties. Consequences for breaking this agreement cannot be named in polite company. Halloween is serious business.

Tell me someone is going as a DNA molecule for this masquerade. Because that would be epic.

Does anyone know if the Centro party is gonna have tight security? The last time I had a mask on, someone tried to put a hole in me.

[By courier to the tenants of Hamartia, Bathos and Aubade at their offices and places of residence.
The couriers wear elaborate masks and feathered headdresses, and hand-deliver each scroll.]

( Nay, gentle Romeo, we must have you dance. )

[Posted to the forums tonight, a day after this.]

This is somewhat unprecedented, so brace yourselves: this has absolutely nothing to do with my restaurant.

Alright, that's a downright lie. I always have something to say about Centro, and tonight is no exception. However, Centro's news desires a certain element of class that is simply not awarded to an online forum -- so I say, be sure to check your mailboxes frequently within the next couple of days and expect an announcement of significant importance that is guaranteed to remedy the dreadful languor of your daily lives.

Like I said, the top statement was a lie. It got your attention though, if you're at least this far.
I'm of the opinion that you should be awarded for your efforts, so here it is.

( What's this? Cats on the internet? Unheard of! )

Obviously, no sociopaths and/or clowns need inquire.
Your kitten priveleges have been revoked.

[Yes, fine, I wrote a whole narrative just so that I could show off the new kittens we have at work. Pay no mind! I insist that Brigs would be a champion of helpless kittens everywhere, so this isn't crack. Feel free to adopt your kids a kitten or two.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.]

[4:17 PM. Day of bank robbery.]

have you spoken to Jim recently?

Mary, Mary, quite contrary. How does your garden grow? With pretty MARIGOLDS all in a row. Wolf, your noise to INTOLERABLE. Stop the incessant HOWLING. It is worse than The Howling 3, even with Christopher Lee.

And someone who was dead is not? This will not do. Follow the rules, people.

So this would be your forum, would it? Well of coarse it is, what else wood it be? Sticking out in the middle of everything, practically says it write their.

But moving on. Seeing as how all you people are likely more established in this particular location than myself and my compatriot, would any of you possibly know of wear a man could find himself a respectable establishment for the purisut of knowledge or more specifically the perusal of same? I'm looking to brush up on lawspeak, and find myself disappointingly low on materials.

[posted shortly after the Seattle Times article]

...That poor man.
My prayers are with his family.

Seattle... isn't such a nice place to live anymore.

[An unsolicited delivery to Aubade #504, a few days after this. The food comes in small black boxes embossed with Centro’s logo and is delivered by a well-dressed young woman. The halls and stairwell are filled with the warm, spicy aroma of ginger.]

( Contents )

Mr. Mercer,

My name is Janet Wilson and I'm a waitress with over six years of experience. I came to Seattle almost two months ago from Chicago and have been working as a waitress at a Hooters ever since. I've been to your restaurant a few times and recall your forum post saying that you were always hiring. I was wondering if you were currently looking to add any new members to your waitstaff. If so, I would like to know if I could pick up an application.

Thank you very much,

Janet Wilson

[After the third mural]

To the artist,

Well done darling. How do we make you famous, hmmm?

Alright. Like any other resourceful businessman of a certain age (who had two older sisters to instill great fear of the faux pas upon him), I feel fairly capable of dressing myself appropriately for a variety of occasions. I usually look forward to the process, actually. Until tonight. This time there are simply too many choices, and I've been hit with staggering indecision. This is a last-minute fashion emergency, Seattle.

( Gucci or Alexander McQueen? )

Your assistance in my greatest time of need will not go unnoticed, Heroes.

B. Mercer

Today is TMI Tuesday:

There is mold in the corner of my apartment. It is shaped like Jesus, so I have named it George. I wonder if I can get black lung from this.

Compliments and respects to all my fellow Creations, familiar faces and otherwise -- I hope that you are faring well! Whether or not that be the case, I would like to suggest a visit to my fine establishment, where our exquisite meals and exemplary service will not disappoint you. Within Seattle’s fine dining industry, Centro remains an icon. In operation since 1986, the restaurant has undergone a complete overhaul since I took over as owner and general manager a mere eighteen months ago. If you will allow me to boast for a moment, the consistency of Centro’s new management and loyal employees has led to the cultivation of ongoing relationships with our faithful customers and remarkable recognition within the community.

Glance over our new menu! Today, we’re making special efforts to live up to our place amongst the great culinary institutions in this city. We are proud to unveil an updated, modern look in our recently renovated dining room. We have also hired an exciting new chef, a celebrated talent who shares in our commitment to pride and professionalism. Our veteran employees proudly uphold our uncompromising service orientation, and our renowned wine list has a maximum markup of 125% in our efforts to bring you the highest quality at the greatest value.

Through what we’ve changed and what we’ve kept the same, Centro continues to serve our loyal customer base while also attracting first-time patrons who are attracted to the finest culinary experience Seattle has to offer, at affordable menu prices.

Reservations granted, but not necessary! Oh, and we are always hiring.

Yours,
B. Mercer