Musings

GUYS. SERIOUSLY. This fog is the best thing that's ever happened. It's a totally free smoke machine! Let's get our dubstep ooonnn!!! I know this super great DJ and I think I can get my hands on some pretty cheap glow sticks.

[Private to M. Main]
So like. Need a babysitter? What's your hourly rate? In high school I got paid 10 20 bucks an hour.

[Private to D. Galakis]
How much do I have to bribe you to go party with me toniiiiiight?

[ Locked to C. Westley ]
[Sent Monday, several days late for a thank you, but when does Dagny ever do things the way they should be done?]

Hey so I know I didn't really say much to you on Wednesday because yelling doesn't count so I wanted to just send you a message where I can [...] say something to you. Even though it was so stupid of you to just drag me to your apartment like that and then call my cousin's fiance for advice [...] I'm glad you did it. That's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever I'm not going to get all mushy on you and crap, but thanks.

[ Locked to L. Daniels ]

How much overtime are you legally allowed to give me before it's considered slave labor?

[Group email: J Morgenstern, A Morgenstern, L Morgenstern, M Morgenstern, R Morgenstern, O Monarch, D Galakis (I hope I'm not forgetting anyone)]

Hello family.

I hope this letter finds you all well. I know that I don't often email all of you in a large group like this, but I am writing because Mother has seen fit to finally let me escape her maternal crutches and live on my owe like a normal adult. Her one requirement was that I go with everyone else and settle in Seattle. I don't no how a long move is any better than simply finding an apartment nearby, but I didn't want to make her rethink her choice once she a greed. I imagine if I step out of line, I well be whisked back to Mother's so protective arms.

As it is, I am now residing in Seattle. My building is called The Bathos. Or maybe just Bathos. I'm not quite sure which. Surprise! I'm getting to know my apartment and running into things steel. I anticipate many bruises over the next few days because I'm too stubborn to use my cane in my own house. My lease states that I am allowed to have a dog, so I might finally get one. I wanted a helper monkey, but that idea was shut down. No fun.

So that is my important news. You may have noticed that my translation software has been on the frizz again and I hope I haven't sent anything two strange to any of you.

Your sister,
Iris

[This includes: O. Monarch, D. Galakis, J. Morgenstern, M. Morgenstern, L. Morgenstern, and R. Morgenstern]

Advanced warning: Daryl and I are looking at September third or tenth for the wedding. Any of you have objections to being groomsmen? Except Ro and Dagny; you can be bridesmaids.

Since I will be spending the foreseeable future dealing with the explosions that happened yesterday, I would like to kindly send a message to the individual responsible for them. The police do not agree with you that might equals right. Just because you can blow people you're not fond of sky high does not mean you should, if for no other reason than that the hammer of the law will strike down upon you with force.

Unpleasant business aside, I'm a relatively new resident of the area, and I'm curious if anyone knows a good magic shop in town. Or a good coffee shop, while you're at it.

I'd make a crack about the snow, but I think about a dozen people have already done that. So I won't waste anyone's time and get straight to the point. Name's Dagny Galakis, I'm new to Seattle, I'm looking for a job. Blah de blah de blah, I bet you guys all have heard this before. If anyone's hiring, I can give you a resume on demand. I've got work experience, so don't worry about having to show me how to turn a cash register on - I've got that covered.

Thanks in advance, chumps.