Musings

[sent Friday evening, after this]

I'm surrounded by irresponsible fools, and I just keep entertaining them. Come have a drink with me, before I'm driven entirely mad?

As you have requested, here are the notes that I have compiled thus far on the art thefts. The Cezanne theft is much less explored as I don't care if this other individual is caught or not due to much more reliable and revealing leads on the Picasso thefts. I have attached my notes to this message in a document. If you have any questions or insights, I invite you to share them.

( picasso.doc )

Okay. Hypothetically, you're walking down the street - you're listening to your IPod, you're thinking about the tuna salad you had for lunch, you're not paying attention. The most beautiful girl you've ever seen walks in front of you and you bump into each other. Apologies are made and she's gone before you can even catch her name.

You know though that this girl, this woman is someone special. But she's already out of your sight.

What do you do? (Note: your answer will have the endless thanks of one Fabian Greene. Make it good)

--
On another unrelated note, where's the coolest place in town to get wasted?

[Something mysterious has occurred in the break room. Beside the half-broken coffee maker and the ugly black stain where it previously started on fire (twice) is a brand new cappucino machine. Placed on this beautiful piece of equipment is a note left in bold black marker: "Property of Detective Warda and Detective West. Perpetrators will be shot on sight."]

[ Group lock to B. Slater and J. Warda ]

I hope that both of you have enjoyed a pleasant Thanksgiving holiday. I am once again requesting the information that the police have gathered concerning the art thefts between November 15 and 16. Thank you.

[ Group lock to B. Slater and J. Warda ]

What have the police found concerning the four pieces of art stolen between November 15 and 16?

[ring, ring!]

[sent to J. Warda the day after the first text, and with no more alcohol]

We will never be telling anyone about I'll lie in court if you ever I can't believe I was quoting poet Still suffering the memory overload, Detective?

[Sent after the memories have stopped for about two hours.]

How have you fared today?

Memory purge failed--still recovering from worst hangover ever. You alright?

[text to J. Warda]
I hope this madness finds you well, Detective?


[text to P. Barnes]
Are you all right?

Lost my internship, got a cold, and apparently there's a Creation who's going to kill us in our sleep. What a great couple of weeks.

[Ring ring]

[ Phone call to Jane Cooper ]

[The phone call is placed early afternoon on Tuesday. When Jane picks up, she'll be able to hear heavy, fast, panicked breathing.]


[ Text to Jennifer Warda ]

i will b unavalable for a few days. will contact when

You people are so easy to control. Tell me, did anyone do anything they regret terribly while their inhibitions were gone? Just think, I can play you all like a puppet on a string any time I want. Who were your lovers with last night? Do you even know?

( In the mailbox of Bathos 204 )


( Delivery for E. Keeling )

Got a minute?

General PSA.

Doesn't matter if they're pumping sex-pollen into the vents, don't fornicate in the stairwell. Or the laundry room. Or just you damn people have a lack of creativity anywhere with an obvious police presence (yes, you will be arrested).

Also--if your pants are three floors below and your girlfriend's in handcuffs, don't try running.

I couldn't help but notice that all the information packets that I left in the lobby for PETA are still there. I would encourage everyone in Hamartia for the fifth time to pick up one of these very informative packets and read up. The treatment of animals in this country (and most of the others) is absolutely abhorrent! And they're animals. What are they going to do without people to step up and look out for them?

Even if you don't buy into all of what PETA stands for, you could at least take a look. There's plenty of non-vegetarian practices that promote the general wellbeing of animals! I also have information packets from the Humane Society, if you'd prefer.

And if anyone from either of the other buildings wants information, just ask. I don't have a problem dropping stuff off for interested parties.

Edit: For the record, I know very well that PETA can be crazy. That doesn't mean that everything they say is crazy. The information contained in the packets I'm talking about is specific and not-crazy.

[ring, ring!]