I don't cook. Fuck that. Ma Lee cooks. Ma Lee in a part of Berlin that tourists seldom find.
Lee's cafe keeps me alive like no crooked corporate medic, street-corner apothecary, psychiatrist or pocketbook of philosophy can.
The medicine is nearly entirely self administered, affordable, non-destructive and honest. Qualities missing from every other facet of my life.
I am:
Hunched over the counter, consulting the oracle of hot-n-sour soup, seeking a cure for a musty fall cold - feeling an uncomfortable physical pressure, externally. Shifting on the stool, breathing in the spice bearing steam, closing my eyes in happiness, thinking 'Nothing is wrong with this perfect bowl of soup.' Opening my eyes and losing my thoughts in the shimmering, coppery, soup-mirror; but there's something pulling me back to the present. Frowning slightly and pressing back with my spine against the hard seat back, a gouging lump fitted to my waist, eyes clearing as my attention is again drawn to the burden of my lethal gear. God Fucking Damn-It. I reach back and rediscover the buttoned-down Glock tightly snugged against my back. I remember my relationship to the weapon and taste the bitterness of the soup like bile at the back of my tongue. I drop the spoon on the counter and payment that far exceeds the bill. I've never been so uncomfortable "in uniform"; I'm not a fidgeter, a twitcher, an undisciplined gear fiddler, now I feel the need to run from this place before it discovers that I don't belong. Before I've made the door Ma Lee has swept up the money and turned back to where her grandchildren wait.
I don't cook. Fuck that.