I Resist the Muses

Character: Celena Ducayne
Word Count: 127
open for roleplay or comments here

you'll never be free

Muse: Victoria Metcalf
Fandom: Due South
Word count: 249

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
- The Who (Behind Blue Eyes)



( What a painful song. )

( I have this one recurring dream. )

I think I will take this quote one line at a time.

But my dreams they aren't as empty
This part is very true. I have dreams, as you may recall from my last post, and they are certainly not empty. Thankfully not all of them are flashbacks to war and torture and death. Some of them are just plain ordinary dreams, just like anyone else's.

As my conscious seems to be
How can my conscious be empty? If it was I'd be unconscious. I did think that the word ought to be "conscience" which makes a lot more sense, but then it becomes totally untrue for me. My conscience is far from empty - on the contrary it overflows like the Falls of Sirion.

I have hours, only lonely
I am immortal. I do not have hours, I have for ever. That's a long time to harbour guilt.

My love is vengeance
My first reaction to this was never, but then I thought about the hours I spent fighting with Findekano, the times I screamed that I hated him. And my father's love for his own father became an errand of vengance against his killer. Maybe my own decision to abdicate the crown to my uncle was an act of vengeance too; an act against the brothers who had wanted me dead. There are only three loves in my life that have never been tainted by vengeance. My mother, my brother Macalaure, and my lover grey.

That's never free
No-one is ever truly free.

- The Who (Behind Blue Eyes)

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
- The Who (Behind Blue Eyes)

The dreams I have now are of a red haired woman, with an Irish accent that could make me shiver, screaming my name. Fear on her face as I vanish from her sight leaving her trapped in a time she didn't belong in. I knew I should have tried talking her out of wanting to come with me, something in my gut said something would happen. I just couldn't turn her down, the want to get revenge for her brother's death. I know if something happened to Nathan I'd want the same thing.

Her face haunts me night after night so much that sometimes just sometimes I can almost hear her voice. I know I have to get back there and bring her home. Get her back where she belongs, back home to Ireland. I broke a promise to her and left her alone and for that I am truly sorry. I wonder how much time has passed there for her, is she even alive with the virus? Things that I let eat away at my mind as I try and will myself back to that moment.

She loved me and I let her down. Seems to be what I am good at sometimes.

Peter Petrelli // Heroes // 202 Words

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free
- The Who (Behind Blue Eyes)