I Resist the Muses

Who will I turn to? I don't know.

Mum, perhaps. She's wickedly brilliant in her own way, even if it's a bit hard for people to understand that sometimes. And she's fierce, oh she's fierce. You cross her or hurt her loved ones and I imagine it's rather a lot like getting chased by a mother tiger. A cranky mother tiger. (And thank God she can't see this or else she'd be hitting me for calling her cranky!)

Or Mickey. Well, Mickey and Jake. Those two come along as a package deal, really. Which is great -- I adore them both. Mickey's the one I go to when I need a hug and a cuddle, and Jake's the one hovering and worrying in the background and asking if he needs to go beat someone up for me -- which is really funny, because it's like he's my big brother or something. The big brother I never had. Never mind that I really don't think Jake would do too well in a physical fight, but anyway.

Or Pete. Dad. I call him both, really. Sometimes one, sometimes the other. He doesn't care. Or at least he doesn't seem to. Either way, he's there to listen. Well, as much as he can -- he's still not entirely used to the whole having a daughter thing. Which I'm not surprised about, really. But he's such a protector. It comes naturally, even if he does flail on occasion.

But the one person I most want to turn to? Isn't an option.

Muse: Rose Tyler
Fandom: Doctor Who

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To be with him again. To be traveling with him again, getting into trouble and running from it and pulling through by the skin of our teeth.

But I'm never going to get that. He's gone, I can't have him back. Mum says I'll learn to handle the pain, that I'll move on someday. And if anybody would know, it'd be her. I mean, she moved on after my father died. But in a lot of ways, it's not the same. Not the same at all.

Because so many things were left unsaid.

Muse: Rose Tyler
Fandom: Doctor Who

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I have no greatest fear anymore because my greatest fear has already been realized.

Now that that's happened, what's there for me to be afraid of?

I lost the Doctor, was separated from him. I had to face losing the man I love, being separated from him not by time but by a universe.

A universe that not even he can cross again.

What is my greatest fear, you ask.

My greatest fear is that I no longer have a greatest fear. Because fear is what keeps you sharp.

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