I Resist the Muses

In my life, I have suffered many losses.

The greatest was my firstborn.

God blessed his children when he gave us what we call love.

In the same breath, he cursed many of us to lifetimes of pain in its name.

The love I carry in my heart for my father, my brother, my son has been twisted into something cruel and unforgiving in the wake of their passing. God did not give me what I carry in their memory. It was made by man -- shaped by cruelty and crafted to be the downfall of others. And perhaps, one day, myself.

Kevin loved me. His love was a soothing balm, a reassurance that not all men touched women the way Bruce touched me, and a steady rock in a world made uncertain by the choices my family had made before me. If I were a selfish woman -- and I was, each moment of his that I kept to myself -- then he would still be here at my side today, finally a willing slave.

A man such as Kevin deserves freedom above all other things. In my selfishness, I kept a part of him, in the form of my son -- our son. He's as bold and honest as I hope his father still is.

It may only be a matter of time before the love I have left is twisted in the way of the loves that went before. Naresha's counsel and the armed security of my home will not keep the beasts at bay forever.

What I have is worth protecting. And perhaps at the very least, my God can understand that.

I chose to leave my family.

I had a brother, and a father. I would've left them behind to walk the path of the righteous; I would have taken my vows and given my life to God. My unshakeable faith was something my father could never really understand, and I all but defied him in going. It was, perhaps, what saved my life.

And what condemned me.

I rebuilt, as one does. I left without committing and gave my life to something else entirely -- to a duty that comes only from blood. With those loyal to me, I built a new family. Naresha guided my steps and Kalidas and Patrick kept me safe when my youth and foolishness led me in the wrong direction.

Bruce Androzzi was never part of that. I will remember him for the rest of my life, and for a time part of me was grateful to him for my first child, but he was a means to an end. In the end, he knew that. Perhaps in the beginning, he knew that. He gave me my Antony, and for a time a kind of safety, and paid for it with his life.

Bruce is gone now, and so is Antony. Kevin loved me -- still loves me, somewhere, for all I know. Before I sent him home, he gave me -- without his knowledge -- my second child. My Justin.

My son is my family.

And I will do anything to keep him safe.

My name is Mara Acoma. I live outside of Vancouver with my son (and household) and I own a fabric supply company. I travel, I socialise, and I maintain an interest in my business affairs.

I was seventeen when my family was murdered -- betrayed.

I am now the woman whose life was shaped by their deaths.

((Aaaaa it's so short. But she wouldn't say anything else; I will make up for it next prompt!))