TARDIS Communication Network

This is a bad place, I can feel it.

Pretty one, careful.

Mr... Mr. Williams? I have... I need to ask... a question. If you could... Er.

Does anyone know if I can get some of those moving pictures to play in the infirmary? I think it would help the patients pass the time.

- C. Bush.

Notice to everyone on board, and that means everyone.

I want each and every one of you to come into the clinic for an exam. If I can get everyone listed, then we can keep better track of things here, which means if you end up ill or need help, we can treat you quicker and with less errors. Is that understood? It will only be a brief physical. I'll ask a few questions and if you're good you can have a lollipop.

Let me know when you want to stop by. I'm always here.

I'm afraid there's another naval officer with a bullet in his chest that needs looking after. He's just arrived in the corridor, and I will take him to the infirmary. Dr Watson, Mr Williams, or anyone else on board with medical knowledge, could you meet me there? Thank you.

Would anyone mind telling me just where in the hell I am, and why my pager doesn't seem to be working? I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't mind the pager not working if it means I don't have to deal with Newbie paging me time after time after time after time with the same annoying eety bitty problems that a monkey could solve. But since I've never been here before and I'm not even sure where here is, I think I'd like someone to tell me what's going on. Hmmkay?

Right, in about... five days, I'm proposing a girls night. I've been spending the last few weeks, the past month or so, learning how to become a nurse, and I'm sort of in the mood to do something a bit less stressful. Something a bit.. girly.

So I'm inviting the ladies on this lovely TARDIS to come join me for a night of make up, a bit of drinking and lot's of chat. Any of you ladies up for that? I don't want to end up painting my toenails on my own.

Reply here if you're interested!

[Filtered to Rory]

Okay, I tidied the jars away and I finished the little test you gave me. So, how about you and me play a different game of nurses tonight?

[Filtered to River Song]

Lunch soon, yeah? You, Rory and me.

Um... I found Damon. He's in bad shape. I would try to help him but it's not really my area of expertise. I'm a doctor to normal living people.

He keeps asking for Elena, that she is alright, or else he slips into some kind of hallucination where he thinks I'm her.

He kissed me....

I don't know what is wrong really, apparent for some kind of bite on his arm that seems to be spreading and causing him quite a lot of pain. I have taken him to the clinic for now.

Has anyone seen a small, rather fat piglet attacking passengers running through the ship? I'm not sure if I've lost him or he has lost me but we've been separated. I don't think it is safe for him to be too long on his own. He's been known to gnaw legs. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Sweetie, what happened here?

Excuse me... Can anyone tell me how to get to the medical bay? One of the automatic doors closed on my tail. I think it may have fractured a bone.

... There had better be a room in this TARDIS with my car in it, or you're taking me back home, Doctor.

Amy? River? You two behaving?