TARDIS Communication Network

What an interesting ship! I've never seen anything like it! But what is an innocent and handsome Candy shop owner to do?

I just realised, if I get home, I will be older than everyone else in my class. They will all have left school, and I won't be able to do anything except take over the family business.

Is the school just for little kids?

[Slightly insane laugh] My mechanical guardians are nearly complete!

I'm not going to school! I'm staying with Tarvek. He's really a good teacher.

This is unacceptable. I am not some child to be forced to go to some school without my permission.

[The voice is high pitched, full of clicks and squeaks, and obviously agitated]

Whereeee I beeeeeee?

So, it's been a while. Where does the time go? Anything new going on around here? Anything interesting?

Oh and one more question. Has that psycho dressed in white been caught yet?!

[Voice Post.]

All right, that's it! If anyone here knows anything about the psychopath in white, speak now! He about took my bloody head off!

Why hasn't anyone found a way to control this situation yet? Why isn't he locked up somewhere?! I can't be expected to do everything around here, now can I?! We could always chuck him out somewhere. I know a lovely little planet he'd feel right at home on. Or we could let him clean out the Cannibal sector on Mort, make him more useful!

[Voice Post]

Despair. Fear. Hatred. Cowardice.

Love. Joy. Friendship. Heart...

What are these things but ideas? This is a ship full of delusional beings. Your lives mean nothing to me. Those who have stood in my way so far should be dead soon... If you truly have this human heart, you will find them.

I have grown tired, over the weeks that have passed, of having very little to do. I have watched the ravens whisper in the looking glass, but that can only keep a man like me entertained for so long. And while I have seen quite a number of people, there seems to very little life in most of them. And what good are we if our spirits are not high? We are nothing but walking shells, a body without true life.

My determination to bring some form of life to this ship has taken form at last, and after my weeks of labour, I have created something new. A place of rest and relaxation. A house of warmth and pleasure. Most are welcome to come and visit, but I cannot allow children. I do apologise, but the sorts of places I tend to own are not places best explored by the young and the innocent.

I am however looking for anyone who might want to work for me. I am sure I can offer payment of some sort for your time and efforts. You are welcome to leave me a message if you are interested.

With thanks,

Lord Petyr Baelish.

Notice to everyone on board, and that means everyone.

I want each and every one of you to come into the clinic for an exam. If I can get everyone listed, then we can keep better track of things here, which means if you end up ill or need help, we can treat you quicker and with less errors. Is that understood? It will only be a brief physical. I'll ask a few questions and if you're good you can have a lollipop.

Let me know when you want to stop by. I'm always here.

Anyone fancy joining me for a drink? I could do with some company. Even if we've never met. Don't be shy.

My name is Dmitri Prokofitch Razumikhin. I am not entirely sure where I am or how I have come to be here, but it is my intention to find out and return home as swiftly as possible. There are people there who need me to look after them, and I do not belong here. This place appears to be strange, beyond my understanding, and this... well, thing? It is quite remarkable!

I do hope that writing this message does not prove to be a task in pointless futility. It has taken me some time to learn the mechanisms and if I am correct, then I understand this object's function. After all, it should be safe to assume judging by the myriad of messages and notes I have seen already, that its purpose is either to document the written word, or act as some way of delivering messages. Somehow. Frankly, I find the entire thing bloody baffling! It is like nothing I have ever seen before.

If my hypothesis is indeed correct, then I would appreciate any and all information available so that I might return home quickly. Thank you.

Дмитрий Прокофьич Разумихин

ATTENTION! DOCTOR, DOCTOR, DOCTOR AND.... WELL HOWEVER MANY OF ME ARE HERE, I NEED YOUR ATTENTION!

We need to make the TARDIS leave this planet, NOW! Don't worry, I've uploaded the star charts and maps from my own TARDIS into the main console, believe me it will help!

Now, there are Dark Finders out there and they have found us. We need to move now, before they send something else to pick us up. If they haven't made a move, that's even more suspect and believe me, you do not want to face a Dark Finder. They are will use lethal and deadly force and they are not easily stopped! I don't know how long they've been watching the TARDIS but they have been following people back here. We are all in grave, grave danger!

And River, if I find out you had anything to do with this...

Due to the tireless effort and enormous generosity of our many volunteers months of hard work came to fruition. I am happy to announce that the TARDIS temple school will be opening its doors tomorrow!

Attendance is compulsory for those younger than fifteen years of age (or equivalent) and encouraged for those younger than eighteen. I have compiled a list of eligible passengers and will send out an escort each day to collect our students. If you are over the age of fifteen years and would like to attend please post a response here or come to the temple school itself. It is currently located parallel to the garden. There's a large brightly coloured sign over the door that reads 'Welcome' so you will not easily miss it!

We are still gratefully accepting volunteers for escorts, teachers, kitchen staff, and general minding of the children. Remember that our focus is mainly providing a safe and engaging space for the young ones. Academics are of secondary importance and volunteers do not need any experience other than patience with children.

Thank you very much to everyone who as contributed! Let's do our best!

Um, yeah I kinda thought I should do something around here to help out, and I'm pretty good with kids. I was wonderin' if I'd be able to pitch in? I don't know who's in charge of it, but if you could get back to me, that would be awesome. My name's Jesse.

Thanks.

Anyone fancy coming out for a drink with me? Mark? Anyone really. I've found this little Sake bar, not that far away from the TARDIS. If anyone fancies it, let me know, and I'll meet you outside the TARDIS.

Souji, even if you don't fancy tagging along this time, you've got to come along another time with me.

So since I've been stuck here, nothing has happened. Doesn't that come across as a bit strange to any of you? Or is this normal? Because as much as I was looking forward to retirement, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

I'd also like to put forward an idea. There's a lot of us on this ship, and I mean a lot of us. That's a lot of targets and a lot of vulnerable people. I'd like to propose a training programme. Basic survival, first aid and self defence. If we're going to be landing on a strange world or in some other place in time, and believe me, I've dealt with this sort of thing before, I'd like to hope we're at least a little prepared.

I'm offering to run the training myself. I've got the experience and the know how to get things done. And this way, we'll all be a little more prepared.

And if anyone with any military training is interested in the forming of some sort of... Guard? Then leave me a message.

Yep, this is how I choose to retire. By not.

Brigadier General Jack O'Neill.

It's quiet around here. Too quiet. There's a lot of us here, some more vocal than others but still, it's eerily quiet. Anyone else itching for this thing to take us some place interesting? Frankly, I'd like to be a bit more prepared, so if anyone can offer any self defence training or something like that, I'd really appreciate it.


[Filtered to Mark]

Hey Mark. Not sure about you, but my hangover took a good couple of days to shift. Not that you drank as much as me but then again, I'm nowhere near as good as chess as you either. So that makes us even in a weird sort of way.

What are you up to anyway?

I need a change. I feel stuck, and I haven't felt that way in a long time.

I think I might just be in the TARDIS too long.

Fresh air might be good.

What does everyone else wish for?