TARDIS Communication Network

Um... excuse me? I have lost my friend. It is a little strange to say but... has anyone seen a flying monster hand?

Attention passengers!

The ship's kitchen is now equipped with a fully automated, fully functional, multi tasking, dynamic coffee machine / muffin maker / toastie toasting / cream cheese dispensing / breakfast machine! AND! It's not even that difficult to maintain!


You're welcome!

So judging from all the previous posts, we are on a ship called a TARDIS, trapped in another universe? Would anyone else mind telling me what else is happening? Do we have any sound theories as to why we are all here?

Oh, my name is Urahara Kisuke.

I will grant the deepest desire of whoever destroys that damn portal and ends this agony in my sinuses. You all reek worse than usual with your anguish and your fear and feelings. Either that or I will find one of you without a nose and appropriate your body. Better start working, idiots.

Well, this is fun, isn't it? And still, none of you have worked out what's wrong with the portal! Oh well. Maybe you should take a guess. I am sure you'll manage eventually. I am sure I could fix the problem, but then what would be the fun in that?

It feels good to be able to stretch my legs again. I have my freedom again, but where are my Imagin?

I know I was once human... But I can't remember. What is it to be human? What does it mean?

I hereby answer to His Majesty, the King of Flowers.

I am ever so lonely and ever so bored. Who will come and keep me company? Who will walk with me under a false moonlight, just once, and show me that I am not alone?

[Video Post - The voice transmition sounds crackly. It definitely sounds like he's moving around a lot. And talking to something or someone.]

Merry... something! No, Christmas! Yes, that's it. What do you mean I was supposed to post this days ago? Well I don't know, do I?! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE BLOODY HOLIDAY EXISTED UNTIL A FEW DAYS AGO! Honestly!

Right, I know I've been doing a lot of these voice posts. Yes, I know, but they're much easier for me to do on the go. I've a busy man. Got lot's to do, all the time! Have to keep moving! Right! Still working, very hard I might add, on a way to get you lot home. If my calculations are right I can get the TARDIS to land on a planet. An actual planet! Yes! Not the sort for shore leave or any of that but an actual planet. All right, well prison world... but still! We do have a very important task ahead of us. Look I'll give everyone more information soon but in the mean time I really need to go back to work...

[Crash, bang zzzzttt!]

Would you please... shut up for ONE MINUTE!

[He moves to turn the machine off. But it doesn't switch off. The video turns off, leaving just the audio recording.]

Would you stop that! Please, just leave that alone!

[There is a mechanical whirring sound in the background, followed by a variety of clicks and clacks.]

Look, how many times do I have to tell you, it doesn't exist anymore! It's gone! Now just shut up and keep... beeping... We have some people to rescue. Some clues to find. God only knows what's really there if River's interested in it!

[There is another mechanical noise. And then a voice follows. It sounds robotic and strange... horrible, like a Dalek, but somewhat disconnected - "Gallifrey! Gallifrey! The path leads to Gallifrey! One day to fix, one life to mend!"]

No it does not! Gallifrey is gone! Gallifrey did not fall in a day. Nothing does.

It's not like I can look back and say, "Yes, I remember the day that Gallifrey fell" because that would be a lie. I remember each and every day it took for his armies to slaughter each and every one of my people. They were never laid to rest. They were butchered! Their great works brought down around them, their genius stolen for the greater machine. It crumbled and fell apart piece by piece until everything was gone. A shell of its former glory. Each day and each night tore my world to pieces... and then there was nothing. Nothing more than a floating orb, barely spinning on its axis, an example to others who dared pay attention before that same demise came to lay waste to them.

Oh, he made his point alright. He made his mark on a universe too young to understand. But you! You should know better! You should understand! Oh mark my words, Deserter! I will make sure Mr Slayer does not win this time. These people will reurn home, so stop making such stupid suggestions!

[He slams his hand on the comm device and it shorts out. End transmission]

[Voice post.]

Oh dear Brother, oh dear Father... If this is supposed to be a joke, then you forget who I am! If this is a test, you underestimate me. And if this is your true punishment, then I feel very sorry for both of you.

[He pauses. The silence ebbs away, laughter filtering through slowly.]

For all of you.

[The audio cuts out]

Well, this isn't exactly Mardi Gras, but I suppose it'll do. Anyone mind telling me where this is?

Such an interesting means of communication. It makes no wonder I have been called the superstitious type, but to actually hold something crafted from such... sorcery? Is remarkable.

My name is Lord Petyr Baelish. Judging from all of your little notes between lost souls, I gather we have all been brought here in the same manner? So where exactly is this place? And where does a man find lodgings until we are finally sent to our homes, if such a day ever comes?

I really want to hit something.

[Audio Message]

This isn't Karakura Town! What happened? Hitsugaya-taichou? Orihime-chan? Ikkaku-san? Anybody? Hello? What is this place?

Tarvek? It was Tarvek, wasn't it? I haven't forgotten. You're still owe me something. And your time is running out. I am tired of waiting.

Oh and Klaus? Remember the power I have? I'm bored... I need something to do.

What is this... mirror... door... thing... and what the hell is it doing here? Who gave you the fucking right to peer into people's brains? I want to know who is responsible NOW!

[Voice Post]

At first, I didn't know why I was here. Consider who and what I am, even not knowing. I should not be here, it shouldn't be possible. But I knew you were here. So I came to the conclusion that the White anomaly must have summoned me and my friends here for a reason. To find you and erase you.

I know you are here... I saw it in another's memories. So many eyes saw you, so many remembered. Isn't that a unique experience? And it made me think. Maybe I wasn't just meant to bring an end to my own time alone... Perhaps I was meant to bring an end to all of time. I am so happy to be here on this ship. I have the face for it, don't I?

Right, so. Everyone doing okay? Everyone good? Now that the TARDIS is on the move again, I want to make sure everyone is fine and well.

Remember, any questions about this universe, any at all, just ask me, okay?

I've never seen my own ghost. I don't understand why he came to me. My ghost found me. He tried to steal my soul. I don't know where I am, or what is going to happen to me. But I do know this. It is not safe out there, or in here.