TARDIS Communication Network

Okay no no no no no...I was finally married...kidnapped on my honeymoon night. This sucks. Now I need coffee...booze....both...

Vun of my claws got broke. Hy kent get it sharp enough again. Iz not goot.


Oh, und vere ken Hy find sum pretty flowers in dis place?

Holy shit balls!

...I was suppose to go to Valhalla! I need to go there.


Someone fix this, right now.

I am in the mood for a swim. Anyone know a good place around here for that or am I asking too much?

Ho, iz been a goot day. A verra goot day.

I'd like to get this over with all at once. Yes, I'm a vampire. I've taken an oath of temperance, so you're safe from me, but if I'm attacked, I will defend myself. For your safety, don't attack me. Is that understandable?