TARDIS Communication Network

So how the fuck is it that I can broker peace between turians and krogan, and quarians and geth, but I can't get my friends to get along?

I don't have time for this bullshit.

I've found a young girl who says her name is Zoe Shannon. Does anyone around here know her, or know her parents? She last saw them at her home, so it's likely she's here alone. I'm just hoping there's someone who knows her.

Kids shouldn't be alone.

How do civilians deal with all this downtime? There's only so much I can work out before I actually become James Vega. And, unfortunately, there's a limit on how much sex you can have in a day. I've been reading some engineering texts, and a couple novels, watching vids...

I need to have something to do.

Hi. I know there's a lot of people here, and since we seem to be stuck together for a while, I thought it'd be a good idea to introduce myself, get to know some of you.

I'm Commander Shepard of the Normandy. If you're from my galaxy, you might have heard of me, but don't pay attention to any of that. Here I'm just another guy, really. Anyway, there's not much to tell about me.

I'm not sure what else to say. I'd like to meet some of you, find out about your lives. Just drop a line to say hi, all right?

What's going on? Vega? Commander? Where am I?

Garrus. I need to get drunk or shoot things. Or get drunk and shoot things. I'm not picky. You up for it?

Shepard I have a surprise for you.

Oh, shit. Shit shit shit. Who the hell took my ship? EDI? Oh, come on. This is so not good.

I've heard there's a lot of people here. Does anyone have any alcohol stockpiled? I'd be willing to work out a trade for one bottle of something.

I am pretty sure this isn't the Normandy...so anyone want to fill me in?

[His voice is gruff and gravelly. Also annoyed.]

What... the... hell.

What the hell is this? This tech is different from anything I've ever seen. It's not even Prothean or Reaper. Integrated well enough with my omni-tool, but I can't link with anything that will tell me where the hell I am.

This is Commander Shepard of the Normandy. I need to return to my ship immediately. My mission is of galactic importance.

This is a bad place, I can feel it.

Pretty one, careful.