multifarious ⟷ in character

Just thought you guys could use a little reprieve from all of this craziness.

She's obviously got her priorities in order.

FILTERED TO ALEX.
» Hey. So. What are you doing right now?
» And just a heads up, the answer should be. Well, Laura, I'm gonna pop over the library real quick to see you because you're a little on edge and can't go into a final wanting to punch someone so we're totally gonna do it in the bathroom.

As an employer, yes. I can vouch for this. I'm willing to take the hit of a sixteen hour day here and there because I know that my employees would do the exact same thing for me if I needed or wanted it. And while I only have two employees right now (pssst, we're hiring if you can show valid legal identification showing you're eighteen or older), I've managed at least twenty over the past four years and every last one of them treated being at work like a privilege in spite of the fact that they're literally doing one of the most awkward things people can do to earn a paycheck. I'm pretty sure it's because I don't ride their asses every five minutes. I trust them to do their jobs and if they can do that, they're welcome to have fun and dick around during or afterward. And if they need vacation time because they don't feel well or their bff/significant other/family member got sent back or they just need a mental health break from the parade of pervs hiding in the smaller cross section of normal people we have for a customer base, then they should take it. Who the hell am I to dictate whether someone should be at work? I don't know how they're feeling or whether having them there any given day will help or hinder my business in respect to that. You treat your employees like people and they'll be there when you need them. Always.

So hey retail hell, especially during the holidays? Take a page out of Adult World and Netflix's books (side note: Netflix has some of the best customer service out there and I like to think that we do, too. Probably not a coincidence). Your attrition rates will plummet, trust me, and it'll be worth it.

Just had to get that out of my system because I was legit in the middle of reading that article when a couple of college kids were perusing in here and bitching about having to miss Christmas with their families because they couldn't get the time off work and that really pissed me off for them. Anyway, sorry, carry on.

That moment when you come back from lunch break and realize it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Well played, Stiles. Well played.

[ooc: pls to be pretending that it's a picture of an entire shelf of these things on display with a 40% off sign above it, instead of just the single one. Also, image is NSFW.]

Why does watching Shark Tank make me feel smarter? I don't understand this concept.

18+

In other news, for inquiring minds who know what happened last year, barring any unforeseen vampire/pirate-hybrid douchebags trashing and robbing the store, we will be having a Black Friday sale this year. Doorbusters, sure. Because why not? Come by and check us out, or...the website should be live just in time for you to order online if you're the shy, I-can't-be-seen-in-a-porn-shop-Alex-oh-my-GOD type.

Oh man, I'm the biggest sucker. I never should've come down here by myself. I should just make my girlfriend do all the decision-making in this relationship; I'm the worst.

LAUREX.

Close the store and come down here if you gotta do a scenting thing or whatever, otherwise I'm bringing this guy home tonight, I can't not. Look at his little face and the paw...he's killing me.

This is why I should never be allowed to close the store alone.

((pls to pretend that's laura's vine account and voice and not some rando))

This weather has been bullshit all day. The Munchkin and I have literally spent the whole day in my bed, watching Disney and Pixar movies and then this happened. So...good times.

LYDIE.

My agent called, though...I have an offer. It's a month-long gig, but it's out in the Canary Islands. I'd have to leave Friday morning. Are you and Mika up for a family trip? Think your manager could handle the club for a month? Or maybe other you could get Barry to come get you and bring you back once a week or someth Or should I just turn it down...?

Youtube is the worst...shit, why do I do this? It's slow as fuck tonight. Someone come buy a dildo or something, Jesus...

LAUREX.

...I just realized that I miss that stupid ass dog of your brother's. Can we get a d I want a dog. Yea/Nay?

That moment when you realize you like something Taylor Swift had a hand in. Fuck you, Ryan Adams.

I just found a guy in the back of the shop with a dirty magazine looking really confused. He seemed super upset when he found out that we don't have 'private rooms'.

Dude, go do that at home, seriously. No one here wants to clean that up and we know that you sure as hell won't.

I hate this job. I seriously love this job but sometimes I hate this job.

Ooohhhh, God bless HBO for reminding me of one of my favorite movies I haven't seen in forever.

This morning while I was getting Laura and I coffee, I was in line behind a dude who looked so hipster punk from behind — quarter-sized ear gauges, fauxhawk, skinny jeans; you follow? — but then when he turned around to leave with his order, the t-shirt under his pleather jacket was bright pink, he was covered in glitter like Tink a fucking fairy exploded in his general direction, and he had on full makeup. And all I could think to myself was, shit, I love the Big Apple, because a guy looking like that back in hom would've gotten beaten up and/or called shitty names. I know, because that happened to one of my best fr. Here, nobody even seemed to notice. Manhattan is the best.

Oh my God, why am I awake this early? Noooo. I freaking just went to bed.

Morbid curiosity + a slow evening at work + an internet connection on my laptop = trauma. So much trauma. Not a big fan of watching my face die at the hands of my girlfriend's older self's face, as it turns out. That's a lot more uncomfortable than I expected it to be and I expected it to be motherfucking uncomfortable.

Mental note: no matter how curious I am, never, ever watch another horror movie with my face in it. Especially when it also has other familiar faces in it as well. Bad times. So much bad times. I'd like a one-way ticket to Nopesville about an hour and a half ago to dissuade me from making terrible decisions, please and thanks.

As a former resident of southern southern New York, like out in the boonies, I feel this so hard. For those of you city folk, please believe...seriously fuck deer. So much. Fuck them so much. There's nothing majestic about deer. I feel so validated right now.

This. So much this.

That moment when you wake up and look at the clock, see you don't have to be up for another three hours, and can't fall asleep again when you try so you have to begrudgingly start your day with four hours of sleep. DNW.

I always knew I'd end up upgrading to a younger man.

For those of you boys who I hired to strip in my club? If you're still over eighteen then sorry, you're not getting a day off, the opening is still happening tomorrow.

I'm sorry, but am I supposed to fucking understand what's going on? Some letter ain't gonna make me feel better.