Dissendium 2.0

WHO: Clarissa Crouch and her amazing dancing purist.
WHEN: Just after this, so around late February 1976?
WHERE: Several places!
WHAT: The History of Magic classroom will never be the same again?

( Just as Doug was less than experienced when it came to, say, groping girls, he was still a newcomer to the fine art of pacifying girls. )

WHO: Lee Mackenzie, Sirius Black.
WHEN: April 6, 1976 (... happy sweet sixteen, Lee?)
WHERE: A random hallway near Gryffindor Tower.
WHAT: Thanks a lot, Jasper, you dick.

( It wasn’t as if Lee really even cared what happened to Sirius Black, anyway. )

FORMAT: Log
WHO: Clarissa and Mary
WHEN: idk bro, sometime.
WHERE: Whereever.
WHAT: idk bro words
NOTES: Closing out more logs like a boss.

( I don't think he learned to play well with others as a child )

WHO: Anna Lyle and Amelie Shingleton.
WHEN: Right after Amelie's ward.
WHERE: The corridors, between classes.
WHAT: The fate of Hogwarts's underpants.

( I do not think my cousin Doug would appreciate it very much, so perhaps we should get Dorian instead. I am going to try and get him to let us into Ravenclaw, but perhaps I won't tell him what we intend to do. )

FORMAT: Log
WHO: Elena and Fabian
WHEN: February 1976
WHERE: Hallway
WHAT: Hallway run-in
NOTES: ...so this was a challenge log that we slacked the hell on. And then it got short because we were both braindead.

( AND THEN THEY HAD SEX. THE END. )

WHO: Alcyone Burke and Iwan Barbary.
WHEN: 29 January 1976, right after the BB Team Evil Challenge.
WHERE: The corridors.
WHAT: Just a little pathological lying between friends.

( If it were humanly possible, Iwan would have been emitting little cartoon hearts all over the place. )

FORMAT: Log
WHO: CJ Costantin, Tim Harbourne and Devin Lyle.
WHEN: During the tail end of the Valentine's party.
WHERE: The loo near the party.
WHAT: Gaywakening. Gaywankening.

( Isn't that what happened to people, when they drank? They became almost like Gryffindors? )

WHO: Adrian Mulciber & a v. special guest!
WHEN: Now.
WHERE: Corridor, abandoned classroom; the usual.
WHAT: Adrian secures a valuable resource for Team Evil Apprentice.

( Well, it was entirely possible Adrian was behaving a little recklessly. But he was in dire need of a fix, and Bellatrix’s instructions would be much easier to follow if he and his friends had a little help.  )

FORMAT: Log. A painful, painful log to write.
WHO: Evan Rosier and Marina Hayes.
WHEN: Jan. 1976, few days after Slytherin/Ravenclaw match.
WHERE: Hallyway outside Prefects' Bathroom.
WHAT: Just... yeah.

( But, she was only a mudblood. )

FORMAT: Log
WHO: Regine Parkinson, Ioan Robards
WHEN: May 1974
WHERE: Hogwarts Library, then hallways.
WHAT: Régine Parkinson is Ioan Robards's favorite person. The feeling is not mutual.

( “You, me, a sunset, some wine. I’ll be looking dashing, as always. You’ll be looking radiant. We can make sweet, beautiful love on the fur carpet in front of the fireplace. It would be perfect. )

FORMAT: Log
WHO: Cliffy and Elena
WHEN: Early December last year?
WHERE: FILCH'S OFFICE.
WHAT: Cliffy dared Elena to go out with her when she was dating Adrian.
NOTES: Yeah, remember that?

( Shall we go see what secrets lay in Filch’s files? )

FORMAT: Log
WHO: Sophie Campbell and Remus Lupin
WHEN: January 12, 1976--after dinner
WHERE: Corridor outside Prefects' Bathroom/empty classroom
WHAT: Remus' ability to make good decisions is dwindling rapidly.
NOTES: Well, in hindsight, finding out your ex is a werewolf puts the whole Jeana debacle into HARSH perspective, now doesn't it?

( And Remus, none of that brooding ‘I’m not good enough’ reasoning. I want a real explanation for once. )

FORMAT: Log.
WHO: Alice Prewitt and Cathy Lufkin.
WHEN: 13th December 1975.
WHERE: The corridors outside of the Great Hall.
WHAT: Alice calls Cathy on her crush; Cathy is now one of the only people (the only person?) at Hogwarts who's been told about Alice's crush.

( So, Ah have a bet of a bone ta peck weth ye, Ah do... )

FORMAT: Log.
WHO: Sal Brownless, Devin Lyle, CJ Costantin, Sam Bigglesworth, and Minerva McGonagall, with brief appearances by Rupert Gordon and Hitwizard Geoffrey Cuffe.
WHEN: December 1, 1975.
WHERE: Throughout the corridors of Hogwarts.
WHAT: So this one time, Sal got expelled for trauming all the prudes of Hogwarts, and then he saw Devin and he was all EWWWW COCK CRUNCHER and then CJ saw Sal beating Devin up and he was all GRYFFINDOOORRRRRRRRRRRRR and Sam saw CJ beating Sal up and he was all I WANT YOU TO KNOOOOOW WHEN I LOOK IN YOUR EYYYYYYES WITH EVERY BLOOOOOOOW COMES ANOTHER LIIIIIE and then McG turns up and she's like BITCH I WILL MAKE YOU FEEL MY KNIFE MOTHERFUCKER. Idk, bro. Idk.

( It probably didn’t hurt that he was quite drunk, and just a little high. )

FORMAT: Log
WHO: James Potter and Alice Prewitt
WHEN: Just following the Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw match
WHERE: In a hallway
WHAT: No more pain for Sirius. For now.

( Listen, Alice. I was hoping you and me can talk out this whole Sirius is a git debacle. )

FORMAT: Log
WHO: Hudson and Lance!
WHEN: Nowish
WHERE: Hallways of Hogwarts!
WHAT: Hudson is bad at romance. Lance has read a lot of books about it.

( Hudson was becoming more and more convinced that romance sounded like homework. )

FORMAT: Log
WHO: Marcy, Sirius, Sirius's Cheating Heart.
WHEN: Nowish
WHERE: In a Hogwarts hallway where, tbh, anyone could have caught them.
WHAT: Sirius sets Marcy on a path that is going to end up with her getting pregnant as a teen in the second RPG in a row.
NOTES: xD

( No wonder the hat had considered Slytherin. He saw something he wanted and, without giving the slightest thought to the consequences, he took it. )

FORMAT: Log.
WHO: Severus Snape and Remus Lupin
WHEN: NOW.
WHERE: Hogwarts at night.
WHAT: DRAMZ.
NOTES: Lol Werewolf.

( With a sort of cruel satisfaction, he ticked that away in his mental file of ever growing evidence that Remus Lupin was hiding a very significant secret indeed. )