I Resist the Muses

This is amusing. I don't get to talk often. Jonathan babbles on and keeps giving away secrets that shouldn't be given away and all.

But I can tell you what makes me laugh. Jonathan doesn't really laugh. He's serious all the time. It's rare for him to crack a smile. It's usually a smirk. Of course, I smirk as well, but I also grin when I'm having my bit of fun with people.

I make people scream and I laugh at them because it's amusing that they're in my power and they're scared instead of me or Jonathan. I hate it when Jonathan is scared because it means other people have power over us and that's not right.

It's stress relief, not evil I tell you. I like their screams because it feels like I am finally getting rid of the pain that we've been through in high school and I laugh because that's how stress goes out.

The death of my enemies.

When they die by my hand I laugh and I laugh because it is exhilarating to do so. I like the feel of the cruel smile that I make and the triumph is euphoric.

Most would call me insane for finding the pain and death of my enemies to be amusing, but honestly what passes for entertainment for most people bores me. Jokes are often painfully stupid and silly behavior vexes me more than it amuses me.

For a long time, a very long time, I did not laugh. I even believed that I was no longer capable of laughter. After Findekano's death, I wept often. Occasionally I could be coaxed to smile, but I never laughed.

Now, here in modern Arda, I am reborn and I am once again accustomed to his absence. Once again, for a very long time, I did not laugh.

And then I met a stranger in the bar of this hotel, and something unexpected happened. He made me smile. He made me laugh. He has a sharp, dark wit and a wicked sense of humour, which can make me laugh without fail. I find myself thinking about him constantly when he's not here, and when he is here, I am relaxed, happy, and comfortable in his company. And the sex, of course, is wonderful, but laughing during sex (no matter how happy he makes me feel) is rather rude.

Yes, it seems that this grouchy old elf has actually fallen in love again.

Comments Welcome

[public]

Two Jedi walk into a bar...

No, truly. I cannot help a modest chuckle when Anakin and I cross the threshold into some smoky tavern on lowest level Coruscant, one that no law-abiding citizen would frequent, and every denizen within blows away their glitterstim dust or reaches for their blasters. Sometimes both. That reaction is a bit of a thrill, I admit, though it says terrible things about the Order. Are we Jedi nothing now but the long arms of the Republic?

Still, the looks on their faces as we demand the most rotgut drinks available only feeds my amusement. Sometimes we "drink" on the Order's behalf, and the alcohol disappears by sleight of hand. More often it burns all the way down. If I can stand by the third glass, their amazement is sure to set me grinning. If, on the other hand, I must lean heavily on Anakin's arm by the time we leave...

There's nothing like it: my head lolling back as he flies us up and up and home, the glitter of Coruscant so far above, the stars above the planet visible only from the gutter. In those moments, real laughter finally comes, inevitable. The war does not exist. The Order does not exist. The past does not exist, nor the future. There is only one breath in my lungs at a time, one heartbeat per instant, and the best and most reckless pilot in all the quadrants at my side, bitching about my irresponsibility for a change.

And I can't help but laugh. I can't.

I don't want to.

...

I just realized how often I've mentioned drinking here. That's not meant to imply... hmph. It doesn't mean anything.


---284 words, comments welcome, let's play!---

What makes me laugh? Pretty much anything as long as it's happening to someone else. No, seriously. Especially when I'm stoned.

Uh, you wanna hear a joke?

What do you call a prostitute who becomes an accountant?

Give up?

Tally-ho!

Hahahaha! Holy crap, that gets me every time.

There's something highly amusing about watching the kittens scramble to keep up.

Schadenfreude.

What makes you laugh?