I Resist the Muses

( Some swearing, somewhat dark. )

Muse: Grey MacNamara
Fandom: None, original character.

(How did I miss this?)

Now this is not an easy question to answer. There are so many things I want, and not so many of them are material things, not many of them are even possible. I think what I want the most, is simply that things had been different. If Morgoth had never existed, then the Trees would not have been destroyed, nor my grandfather murdered, nor the Silmarils stolen. There would have been no Oath, no exile to Beleriand, no Kinslayings. I would still be living in Valinor with the rest of my family, my father and brothers and cousins still alive.

And Findekano.

I want him back, most of all. My brothers too, (yes even grumpy Moryofinwe, who didn't like anybody), but what I want the most is to have my cousin back; to have once again the happiness we shared in those long, warm summers in the hills of Himring.

Character: Maedhros
Fandom: Silmarillion
Wordcount: 150

[open]

My life would be easier if the war ended. It's not that I'd never be in danger again. Such is a Jedi's way of life. But to be generals, to command hundreds--thousands--of men to their deaths each day... We are meant to fill Darkness with Light, but how can any of this be the way of the Force?

No matter how I scrub, I still feel Jabiim's mud on my hands.

The mud, and all the blood.


--79 words.--

[closed]

A stiff drink? No, there's been too much of that lately. Far too much.

[open]

For once, I think I'd like leave that is actually leave. Whenever I get a week off, I spend five of seven days chasing ne'er-do-wells. This hotel is only a small variation from the norm. There's some mystery here, I have no doubt of that. Whether it is a nefarious mystery or not is beginning to plague me. And Anakin apparently hearing my dead Master's voice... How does that saying go? No rest for the wicked? If so, haven't I earned a lay about?

[closed]

Perhaps Anakin himself is the crux of the matter. Whatever this is, it can't be healthy. For us to spend so much time together, to spend every waking minute in each other's company--it is as if we are connected at the frontal lobe. In some ways, we are. When his Padawan braid was severed, our training bond was not, at my discretion no less. I couldn't stand the thought of... I don't know what I couldn't stand. I don't want to think of it.

I don't want to think of the few times he does slip away from me. I am not blind, except with jealousy. If he would only talk to me. I can conjecture, I can suspect, but until he confirms what I think it all means nothing. Yet if he needs her, well...

The Old Man asked me to look after him. When have I ever denied Anakin anything he needed?


--256 words.--

'The first step to understanding a problem is understanding the source.'

What do I want?

Such a question should be met with laughter. Before the end of the world, it would have been met with laughter. Now...

Now, I am not sure.

( Private thoughts )

Kay and Lyla are near inseparable as they wander the garden at will. The garden responds to them almost as well as it responds to Lilith. Slowly, I am learning more of her magic, and it may be that it is this which is guiding the answer to this question.

A few nights past, an arch appeared here and turned into a doorway. It was followed by an envelope addressed to me. An envelop which contained a key. Perhaps it is time that I want to see where this door leads.

Comments welcomed here.