I Resist the Muses

Who am I?

Simple enough question, though I might not get all the details right, had a bit of an accident and my head’s a bit muddled. I’ll start with the things I’m certain of. My name’s Killian and I was born and raised in An Baile Thiar on Oileán Toraigh, which means West Town, Tory Island in English. Not a place I expect you to have heard of, but if you have I owe you a pint. My father’s a fisherman, my mother tends the house. I’m the third of six children. I’ve an elder brother and sister, and two younger sisters and a younger brother. Life on Toraigh’s different, slower. Hard not to be when you’ve not got things like power or running water, things I’ve gotten rather fond of since living on the mainland. Toraigh is a rather isolated piece of rock out in the ocean. Still, it’s home an I miss it.

This is where things get a bit muddy. Had a bit of a tumble down a cliff. Not a very high one, but a cliff all the same. Broke some bones, cracked my head good and proper. Now according to my addled memories, I served the Mother, the Morrigan, one of the old goddesses. Was a member of her order, served her well and did as she bade me. But the places I know, they aren’t there. The people I knew, their names are fuzzy, not quite right, and I can’t find them. I loved someone, and lost him. There’s a dream I have each night, where I watch him die, and wake with a name on my lips I can’t remember. That’s who I am. Slightly addled and possibly mad.

open for comments/RP

From here, you'll see me in a guise I share not often with everyone else. Be warned that occasionally I'll address issues that will seem familiar. Treat it all lightheartedly, and I'm sure we'll all get along just fine.


crossposted in </a></strong></a>soulvoid.

When I was first reborn here, in the 21st century, the first people I met and became friends with were rock fans, so naturally I got early exposure to this thing they call rock music, and heavy metal, and I found that I liked it. It's loud and full of energy, and serves well to distract me when I need to be distracted. Of course Findekano hated it. His tastes are much more cultured; he likes classical music (though I would argue that some classical music, like Wagner and Mozart, was regarded as it's own culture's "heavy metal" once upon a time).

There's a song by a band called Linkin Park, called "Easier to Run", and the lyrics of that song could have been written for me.

If I could change, I would
Take back the pain, I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made, I would
If I could stand up and take the blame, I would
I would take all my shame to the grave.

Why? The why is right there in the lyrics. If I could, I would.

On a very slightly related note, I've been told more than once that I'm a double for Axl Rose. And, you know, they're right.

Comments Welcome

My older sister, Gretchen, has two kids. I watch them live such predictable lives, and though a part of me bitterly despises the normality, I envy them. They seem to believe they belong in this world and in life without question. They all go to church, they fight the usual family fights over cars, money, and the teens' boyfriends and girlfriends. It's all so easy for them, even when it's not fun. Things always work out, and cycle back to regular problems. Her family doesn't like me very much. The kids are old enough to think I'm just some weird old guy (even if I'm not as old as their dad, I'm still old to the teens.) None of them seem interested in my life or my work.

My younger brother, Stephan, is only slightly older than her kids. He's just graduated high school. I watch him, and I know that he's just like me, except without the "gifted" tag. He's not joining the family life the way my sister did right out of high school. He's not really trying at college, and yet he's not going to end up in the same situation I was in. He's got a job, and seems okay with it, as long as it doesn't interfere with his daily bar hopping.

I care about Stephan a lot. He's not quite a brother to me, because there are just under ten years between us. I watch him to see what I might have been like, had I not been born with my talents. He doesn't let me get close to him, though.

Mom and dad are still married. They bicker sometimes. They sit quietly at the breakfast table and read newspapers. They don't show us much of themselves. They were very normal parents. They got to church when the mood strikes them. They didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it, though. They showed no interest in whether I was confirmed or not. My sister did everything exactly as instructed. My brother behind me rebelliously declared his lack of faith. I did neither. I don't know what I think about God, yet. My parents didn't really seem to have any opinions about it, either. I think they just carried on tradition more than had any real faith. I don't know. They're both extremely private.

Growing up, they laid down the rules for me, put me into a tough school, and filled up my free time with activities. I didn't spend much time with them. I hate to say it, but I just don't know these people that I'm related to.

I just don't know them at all. My extended family always lived across the country. We visited a couple reunions over the years, but those people are complete strangers. So, my family consisted of five people who barely knew each other.

crossposted to soulvoid

That question would've been easier to answer a few years back. Maybe when I was a younger man.

These days? Colonel Marshall Sumner, USMC -- deceased.

I was forty-five when I died. Born '58, died 2004.

Guess you'll wanna hear about that.

I was one of the original members of the Atlantis expedition, led by Dr Weir. Good woman. New to command back then, but damn sure of herself. If she had any doubts, I didn't hear about them. Anyway, I was her military commander. Which didn't stop her overruling me on the subject of Sheppard. Looks like she was right about him, but I'm not talking about him right now. Or her, come to that.

The expedition was successful. We made it to Atlantis, got ourselves set up. Turned out we were underwater and losing power fast -- time came fast we had to go looking for other options. We found the Athosians, and then the Wraith found us.

The Wraith Queen didn't kill me. Sheppard did. He took the shot, and yeah, it was the right thing to do. It was also the end of my life in Pegasus. The expedition went on without me, and I'm just cooling my heels while I figure out what happens next.

Friends call me Mack.