zombieland

Who plucked me out of the Hell division of Wolfram & Hart? This wasn't in my contract.

Sit rep? Now I'm starting to sound like May

I think Ash is missing too.

I thought he left the party, but I can't find him today. Have any of you talked to him?

... I didn't do it.

What is the meaning of this?! I do not like it, whatever it is.

I guess it's a good thing that I'm a phoenix. It may come in handy in this place.

[PRISON]
I'm all set to go on a run if anyone needs anything.

This might be an odd question coming from me and considering what we're all dealing with it might not be the best time but I need to ask.

Is there anything that can grant wishes besides a genie?

Whatever this is? I don't have time for it. I've got a school and daughters to get back to.

So, are we just going to ignore that the storms are getting worse?

...This wasn't supposed to happen.

Okay, what crazy shit is going on now?

At this point it's just a really bad joke.

Mystic Falls + New Orleans

Dad's gone.

Who's next?

Apparently Stefan is strictly into dick now.

What has that godawful knife done this time?

Nothing says 'let's start the new year off right' than an apocalypse party.

Josie
Before you even say it, duh, we're going.

private to Lizzie
How are you holding up?

private to Caroline
How are you doing?

private to Alec
Want to get out of here?

private to the witches/magic users
Nora and I were able to get through the cloaking that Kai has on himself and now we have a location on him. We also have a dark object called the Serratura. There's a curse on it and it's basically a boundary spell that is unbreakable. But we all know he's a siphon, which is why I need any witch who can channel magic to slow him down. While he's trying to siphon the magic, he can be attacked as well. When it comes down to it, his magic is what makes him seem unstoppable, but he's not unstoppable. He's a vampire. He can die just like any other vampire can. I need to know who is going to be able to help because when it's time, there's going to be no warning, we're going to need you.

private to Faith
I think we're going to finally take him down. It's going to happen.

This is exactly what happens when people play with black magic.

Josie, what did you and Hope do now?