zombieland

This is how it starts. Mandatory curfew, and then taking away our weapons. And now soldiers taking people in the night, "undesirables" or problem people disappearing. I've seen all this before. This really should be no surprise to anyone who studied history in school. Be ready and guard yourselves, and don't listen to their lies.

And don't be surprised if you hear about them being branded by a mark and interned at camps next. These soldiers, they shouldn't even be called American. They've betrayed their ideals and core American values, betrayed their nation by being party to this, by adopting the actions of Geheime Staatspolizei. Oh, sorry. Gestapo.

[Filtered to Fangtasia and Brothel people]

Dilemma. Laugh at her or dismember her?

Or both?

Not a lot to do here except killing the undead, huh? I'm gonna need more arrows.

[Potential Arrow spoilers in comments]

I do not like this. If I knew who was taking those we care for from us, I would raze them to the ground. They would feel the wrath of what I am.

So what does everyone around here do for fun? I heard of the bar out in the projects, anyone been there? Also if anyone has a little pick-me-up they can spare, that would be a blessing.

Please, fucking tell me that the people I care about the most haven't lost their fucking minds.

[Pam]

You've got some fucking explaining to do. BIG fucking time.

Attention vampire citizens of Everett. For a while I have been wary of how to come about with this information that I have kept to myself. However, I realized a few days ago that I can no longer hide who I truly am from you. As vampires you all deserve someone of power and respect. Someone who has a bloodline that is untainted and pure. Thankfully, I come from a vampire lineage of great importance. I was born a natural vampire which is rare. I believe I am the only one fit for this role...

You may all refer to me as King David. I have begun recruiting followers and I have means to rule over the entire vampire race. All vampires will bend the knee - whether by choice or by force.

Now then - questions?

When If things get worse here because of Kai, would you like the opportunity to get away?

Tara and I were talking about setting up a secondary home in the woods for us, you, and Nora.

In case some asshole crashes Fangtasia again.

Fuck! This shit is worse than back home.

Do fuckin' idiots just like destroying places? That was just fuckin' ridiculous. And now we have to start ALL over again.

[Nora G. (Aunt Nora)]

Guess we'll have to fuckin' repaint shit all over again.

What the actual fuck is this?! You're going to tell me that first I'm fightin' off THEM idiots and now fuckin' this? Who's bright idea was this?

filtered to vampires

I would suggest being careful at the prison or running into anyone from the prison. Better safe. I don't know if more will receive this same dare.

filtered to Eric, Pam, and Nora

First off, there will be no retaliation of any kind. A young woman attempted to behead me.

Holy shit. How much did I drink last night?

Well, this is a bloody surprise and not at all what I expected to find on the other side of the true death.

You know what? Yeah. I did it. I had sex with Kol. And I'm not sorry either.

I'm not sorry that I'm no longer your perfect little Elena as Kai so aptly put it. I'm not sorry that I got tired of pain being my constant, my 'normal'. I'm not sorry that most of you are probably going to get yourselves killed here, just like you did back home, and that for the first time in my entire life, I'm not suffering.

If you seriously want me to flip the switch back, it's because you enjoy my suffering. You're a... a low key sadist. Or is it a masochist? Wait, masochism is when you enjoy your own pain, right? Klaus, help me out. I know you know this.

You know what? No. It doesn't even matter. This is my life and from now on, I hold all the cards.

The Elena Gilbert you knew is dead and she's not coming back so get used to it.

I live for me now.

What in the world? I know this ain't Bon Temps.

Okay, so, this zombie thing? It's seriously killing not just people but all the fun around here. It's unfortunate but I don't see why that means it has to be a total boner killer...