zombieland

Sit rep? Now I'm starting to sound like May

Hey, you still with us? Or did this bitch get a hold of you too.

Avengers, sound off.


[Natasha]

Your ass better still be here.

Alright kids, let's get this cluster fuck straightened out.

Who woke up different this morning and how?

I'll go ahead and sound off. Feeling hungry, have pointy teeth, and am suddenly deathly allergic to sunlight. Guess what I am?

Mother?

Who's up for some target practice?

[Kate]

Happy birthday, mini me!

Information overload in the brain. Yay.

[Filtered to Clint]

Target practice time?

[Filtered to Gunn]

I see a whole bunch of people from your home turned up. Is this a good thing?

[Filtered to Mark]

this is a mistake Are you out there?

Check in. I'm hearing things about people acting strange again?

Really, Loki?

And don't try to say it wasn't you, remember I've handled a teenage you for a long time.

[Filtered to Oliver Queen]

Hey, just checking in, wanted to see if you're okay. I saw you recommended me, it does mean a lot.

[Filtered to Steve Rogers]

Council member now, congrats Cap.

[Filtered to Charles Gunn]

So I had a lot of fun at the party, it was good to meet you in person. Still want to go bad guy hunting?

[Filtered to Clint Barton]

Poke, poke.

[Filtered to Matt Murdock]

How are you?

Something tells me a distress signal wouldn't work in this case.

Where am I? Clint, Sam, anyone. Are you out there?

I'm all for a good portal jump or two when the time calls for it, like getting me the hell off this black water waste of space, but someone want to tell me what douche monkey is responsible for me still being on this technologically inferior mudball of a planet?

...Is this where they all went?

So, because this Gossip Girl is an asshole, she went and revealed Spider Man's identity. Yes, it's Peter Parker. Moving on.

And apparently he's dating a girl who's family is...protective is an understatement. He's legit worried they might kill him.

I've pissed some parents off in my time, but they've never actually wanted to kill me. I think.

Would doing something for Halloween be the most inappropriate thing ever, or does anyone think something else would win the prize for that?

[Filtered to Clint Barton]

Hey you. Up to much?

Wow. Classy.

[Clint]

So, awkward? I may have to start copying you and ignoring the media, or Gossip Girl in this case.

I remember thinking back to how awful Mondays were.

And then I came to Everett where everyday is awful.

[Sentry]

Report to the courtyard if you're not on duty today. Mandatory training session.

[Stefan]

I don't know what happened to you but I hope you're not dead.

This is hardly funny. Return them both now, this instance.

Molly. Old Lace. Where are you? I can't be alone-

Where am I? Am I in hell?

This? It's not cool. You want to drag me away from my family? I need to get back to them.