zombieland

Oh my God... Was this me I didn't mean for this to happen.

Are these gifts from home supposed to make us forget we're stuck at the end of the world?

[JO WILSON]

You doing okay? Haven't heard much from you here lately.

[COMMANDER]

Did you or your team get anything from home?

Woke up this morning, not the Devil anymore. I'm so relieved. No offense, Lucifer.

Not the worst kidnapping I've had, but come on, I need to be in Paris in four hours.

[Filtered away from the psycho twins]

I need to rejoin the world. There's a lot of things I can't change, but I can control how I react to them.

[Filtered to werewolves/shifters]

I've been working on my control in my panther form, does anyone want to go for a run?

[Filtered to Jason]

How are you, Lion Man?

Um, Five?

Did I get high again?

Does everyone else see dead people?

How am I here? How did I even get here?

Aria
I'm sure I don't have to say it, but obviously, it's a lie. I run with Alex. We talk. Nothing more.

Alex
I would wonder if it was a slow news day, but she had more than enough in that last blast. You alright?

Serena
Hey, how about we try that cute stuff one more time? I scored some thing from the kitchen, picnic on the roof?

PLL Verse
We've all been pretty quiet. Everyone whole after..everything?

So since somebody freaking went through my shit and ruined it - ARIA, how about I just put on blast the inner thoughts of this 'nice girl' who isn't exactly nice.

I don't know who the hell Molly is, but she has a lot to say about you. Like how everything with Kai is your fault. And you're an idiot. You're welcome.

Grace and Lily are crazy versions of their mothers, especially Lily. Oh, don't worry Grace. You're an airhead just like Emily. Says so in bold letters. And a freak of nature because you're like a deranged Elsa? LOL. What the fuck is an Elsa?

LOL. Oh, Jason. Do you really wanna know???

Dom. Ooh, says here she thinks you're a lesbian because you keep giving her the eye. But she's not into that. Sorry :(

And Coco. Wow, she straight up said you're a whore.

Who needs Gossip Girl when there's Aria. Unless Aria is Gossip Girl????

Whatever, this is me paraphrasing but you get the gist. Let this be a lesson not to ruin my fucking things that my boyfriend took forever to find. I know you need it, but don't use mine and get your fucking own.

And as crazy as this seems, pretty sure this isn't even up there with what I've already been through this week.

[FILTERED FROM NOEL KAHN]
Are you freaking kidding me?!?

[JASON]

Mind if Natasha joins us for a run tomorrow morning?

And here I thought my days of being kidnapped were over.

I don't know whoever created Twinkies, but I think they were playing a cruel joke. If I come across them again I won't make the mistake of eating any.

[Bonnie]
I'm fine.

Something happened last night. I’m kind of freaked out.

Things could be worse, I guess.