SECOND CHANCES NET

This is my life.

I end up in a place I've never heard of and no one will let me leave to go live on a perfectly serviceable island in the bay that probably even has lights and heat.

I meet someone who has the same last name as me and apparently is related to me yet I have never heard of her.

Now I have this......thing following me around complaining that I smell and need a hair cut.

What is this madness?

It occurred to me that I will eventually need to find work. I suppose I could just No, I should be goo It has been a long time, and I mean a very long time since I've held any kind of position.

I honestly don't know what an old vampire could be hired for these days. Bodyguard, possibly? Though I imagine I should try to not actually break any bones. I was a nurse once, but that was in 1919.

Don't suppose there would be a need for a PI around here?

Okay, in the interest of getting ahead of rumors before they even get a chance to circulate:

Yes, there's a video of me in a fight floating around on the internet.

Yes, I was defending my damn turkey.

Yes, I went to the hospital and filed a police report.

Yes, I was holding back, because I'd rather not go down for manslaughter barely a month after getting here.

No, it was not my proudest moment.

Yes, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Animal abuse is never okay.

All that said, I'm so glad that dumb bird is gone.