Zenith : In Character Network → Computer Communica

sorry its so late! chase, kiley and I were going to try out that bowling alley downstairs in the house tomorrow night and wanted to see if you wanted to play with us? I'm really crap at bowling, but it might be fun. just let me know? ok :)

hey jimothy so in case you didn't hear, i fell and hit my head pretty bad and i'm on painkillers and concussion watch and ice on my knee and can't move my groin without hissing and it's terrible and aahhh - right now i'm chilling on marco's bed because it was the closest bed to the bathtub where i slipped and fell. because i crashed there last night i can't even remember why, i was tired. (but i think the bottom line was, i wanted a private shower in the morning.)

ANYWAY i guess i'll crash here again tonight because moving is the thing i wanna do most right now so obviously it also hurts like a bitch hell you'd expect it would.

is saying 'like hell' considered cussing too, btw?

just letting you know, enjoy the bed and i'll be by tomorrow, god willing. amen. and that stuff.

not sure how much longer we'll be here, but was thinking of grabbing some beers and taking advantage of the hot tub on the roof tonight for awhile to enjoy the view (and please god, the silence) if you want to come with. this probably makes me sound like a creep. alcohol + hot tub tends to give off that impression, doesn't it?

Private to Kate, Pam, Kiley, and Daphne

Okay, so you're either people I've met or that offered to help that other woman with her makeup or that I think will have good advice about this. I don't really know a lot of women in the house, but I need advice. Erran asked me on a date, a date-date, and what do I wear? What do I do with my hair? What says "I'm in a tropical paradise with a former movie star and current astoundingly good human being that's so my kind of handsome it makes me want to cry a little bit, but it's really no big deal because I woke up like this"?

HELP I'm scratching it in the sand on the beach here

H E L P

Oliver, Juno and I were talking about twirly mustaches and out of everyone in the house she decided that you should be the one to grow one. She's got a concussion, I'm just telling you what she's saying.

Is Juno really okay?

Also, is there anything she's not supposed to eat when she's still recovering? I don't want to make food only to have her go into a some sort of sugar-induced-super-concussion or something.

[...] I know that's not actually a thing, I'm using it for dramatic emphasis.

[.......] That's not actually a thing, right?

Don't answer that.

Wait, no. Do answer that. If it's a thing I need to know.

happy Dia de Los Muertos. i'm celebrating it by recovering from a concussion from an accident where i almost became one of them. :D

if you wanna celebrate come over to marco's room we're hanging out and doing absofuckinglutely nothing remotely related to ddlm but if anyone wants to bring some food and candles we can... eat and light some fucking candles i guess.

here's to my dad not joining us

have a calavera brought to you by complete lack of talent, paint, and boredom

Happy Dia de los Muertos, boys and girls! If that's your thing, I mean. I don't usually need an excuse to wear or decorate with skulls. And yes, I know that's not what it's about, before you say something.

So, dressing up yesterday was a lot of fun. I've been going through the costume room and taking out pieces of costumes that I want to hang onto, in case we actually get a chance to do some LARPing, or just need a goofy day where we're wearing cloaks and wigs. The thing is, I'm out of space in my pack. I've packed as much as I can, but there's still a lot more I'd like to take.

Is anyone willing to smuggle some costumes in their extra bag space? I can help pack it, if you need. Even if you have space for accessories, I'd appreciate the help.

{PRIVATE}
Aspen's Paper Journal (kept on loose-leaf paper for now)
Day 36, 11:56 PM

Tonight was the Halloween party down on the beach. I love the beach, even though I haven't visited but once when I was seventeen or so. Owen was nice when I bumped into him downstairs combing through costume racks together; Avram had promised me a dance; Kelly Kiley and Kate were wonderful and generous and came over to help me do my makeup. It did look just as I hoped it would, just the way I'd wanted it; so much gold shimmer around my eyes, soft and pretty, the kind of thing that looks light it might melt by torchlight. They did such a good job. I wanted to look like a Grecian goddess, a little bit ethereal.

It came time to leave to do down to the party, and I couldn't.

I wanted to, I wanted to go more than anything. To be in the air and taste whatever food was spread out over the tables or roasting over the fires. To see everyone else's costumes, to meet the other people in the house that I haven't met yet.

I seized up, and I know better than this. This is why I have all this cognitive behavioral stuff to fall back on, this is why I have anxiety medicine (that sometimes works so well that I forget every person I met or thing I learned while I was on it), this is why I was so determined to stay with my parents instead of going to a group home or a halfway home or wherever else.

Avram saw me at the end of the hallway, just standing there and trying not to let myself cry. I think it was mostly someone standing so still that caught his attention; he always seems to be moving, thinking, talking. (Maybe that is unkind to say, but I don't mean it that way.) He offered to keep me company, and it bothered me that he wouldn't get to have fun with the others (he just is handsome; even dressed up as a nerdy science guy, the bowtie can make him look very distinguished).

He offered to stay in with me, so we did. Made popcorn and raided the kitchen, and we went down to the basement to watch Corpse Bride. I promised to play him the piano tomorrow, when I'm not so clumsy with drugs and everyone's recovered from their hangovers. I had my Polaroid camera they gave to us in our baskets (I thought I'd take it to the party, try to take a picture of everyone so I could give it to them, so they'd always remember what they looked like). I took a picture of Avram while he was loosening his bowtie to really get rolling on some mathematics point. It seems to capture him exactly as I know him so far.

The party was still going strong when I took my Ambien and curled up in my bed. I could see flickers of light from down on the beach, fires and torches, hear very distant shrieks or shouts. My Halloween went well, the cozy kind that were always my favorites; I hope everyone else had a good one too. Someday I'll get better at introducing myself. I'm trying. I really am. I'll have to apologize to Kiley and Kate. They really did such a pretty job. I feel awful for wasting their time.


Day 37, 6:12 AM

Strange dreams as I tried to wake this morning. I dreamed I was being coronated, sitting patiently in a red velvet chair with my hair brushed until it gleamed like satin, unbound like a vestal's, so long I could almost sit on it. They wanted to crown me with green birds. Pigeon-sized green birds, the green that is iridescent on the very top of an oil slick, a green that will vanish the moment you try to capture it on your fingers. I realized late that the looming crown they lowered onto my head was in truth made of bird-bones, and knew without looking that they were magpie bones, and the crown was decorated with bits of tin and mirror. Magpie things. The green birds plucked strands from my hair and took them away. Perhaps to make their own nests.

Day 37.