Zenith : In Character Network → Computer Communica

[...] [...]

[...]

Please don't send me back to prison.

The only reason I didn't fill out the survey is

I just guessed most of them.

You know what this is.

January - Tobias as a sexy Baby New Year
February - Damon with creative uses for Mardi Gras beads
March - Lennon in a bed of well-placed flowers, like a mix between American Beauty and Pushing Daisies
April - Me, holding ducklings.
May - Chase working on a classic muscle car, covered in oil.
June - Jack manning a grill in nothing but a "Some Like It Hot" grill apron.
July - Marco as a Comic Con superhero
August - Owen as a sexy fireman
September - Avram dressed up as the male equivalent of Hot for Teacher
October - Edwin in his elf getup.
November - Erran and his "Magnificent Sephardic Pelt™"
December - Jim in a sexy nativity scene. (Sorry Jim)

Ideas, people. Challenges welcome.

I didn't do it. All I did was hit the enter key through all the questions. I'll get punished for it, but I don't care. It's bullshit.

I'm seriously disappointed in whoever left me out of the Men of Mount Zenith summer catalog. I'm boycotting shirts until further notice so you can bask in your wrongness.

Also, I'm making cookies, because apparently that's what I need after a three-day bender.


[Private to Juno]

You're not damaged. If anybody ever says that to you, you'd better tell me.

Just curious. I've had sex with three of the ladies in this house. Has anyone scored more than me?

With the same partner doesn't count, so that leaves out Chase and Kiley.

I feel like I'm losing my grasp of what's real. This is fucked up. How long have the windows been gone?

I need the voices and shapes to stop.

Do you guys get what this is like yet?

I'm afraid to leave my room. You guys are still hearing things, right? And seeing things? Is it getting worse?

When does this stop? I want the windows to come back.

I spent the afternoon drinking, eating chocolate covered cherries and playing with an octopus.

My day > your day x 1,000,000.

So, it's been a day. We should all be able to laugh about this now, right?
I'm only doing this for most of you because we're all stuck here
stupid
stupid
Just want to say
Sorry for
fuck fuck fuck
Once upon a time
Remember that meeting we just
fuck
fuck
asdgukhfdghljkfdgkad
I'm sorry

[…]

So I know none of you have any reason to actually read this, but I hope that at least some of you do. But I also know that some of you will scroll right past this, so:

I'M SORRY.

Maybe you're reading now. I don't know. I don't know how to write this apology. I don't know what to say when it's written down on paper. Do I tell you what happened? I guess.

So, here's my deal. I've been doing heroin since I was a teenager. Pretty consistently. I've gotten some since being here, but after doing a few really stupid things, Cecilia had tried to ween me off. I don't know, I thought it would be the right way to do it, but I ended up just trying to get to my drugs, and when I realized that I couldn't, I panicked. I knew it was dumb when I did it, but I was too afraid of not getting it, and how that would feel, so I made the wrong choice. I'm sorry about that. I really am. Looking back on all the shitty things I've done since I got here, I'm amazed that no one talked about locking me up sooner (though I'm also pretty grateful for that, too).

So, what's happening now is that I'm gonna try to stop being so much of an asshole (I can't stop completely, sorry) and I'm going to go cold turkey. That's right, for those of you just skimming this, I'm going to STOP DOING DRUGS. As of right now, I've been sober for over 24 hours. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but considering I'm used to getting high every four to eight hours, it's a fucking big deal.

And to those of you who like to know that I'm miserable, Chase and Kiley, I've thrown up twice and have the cold sweats, and this is only beginning. Fun. But I'm serious. I'm going to quit. I don't want to scare anyone into thinking I'm dangerous anymore. I'm not going to let drugs make me into a dangerous person.

Speaking of
transition here
fuck fuck fuck

While I'm bringing up the whole being dangerous thing, I feel like I should bring up those "psych issues" that were mentioned at the meeting, because when it's mentioned that I could get worse, that sounds scary. I'm I'm schizoph I want to tell you that I'm s I have sch Schizoph Somebody kill me now I'm I have schizophrenia. I was using heroin, and actually tried a lot of other things, to self-medicate while I didn't have medication, and that's when I got hooked. No, that's not an excuse for all of the bad things I've done. It's an excuse for some of the weirder things, though. […] Honestly, telling you this is almost as scary as the knowledge that my next couple weeks are going to be rough as fuck.

Mostly I just want to say that I'm sorry about what I did down at the pharmacy, and I'm sorry if I scared anyone, and I'm even more sorry that I hurt people. Some of you have been all kinds of patient with me, and I'm sorry I was a little shit. I'm not going to do it again. I'm gonna give this sobriety thing a try.

[…] I guess if any of you have any questions about any of this, you can ask. I'll do my best to answer everything.

tl,dr: Sorry.




Private to Owen:
I owed you this apology in person, but I didn't want you to punch me in the face today, when I have days of already being in pain ahead of me. Sorry I fucked up so bad. I hope I didn't fuck up even more by doing this over the network.

Private to Lennon:
Tried to find you to do this in person. Still want to apologize in person, but if you don't want to see me, I get that, too.

There's a couple of things I'd like to talk about.

First, the pharmacy. If anyone needs anything, please talk to me, and I'll see what I can do. I'm not a doctor, I'm not a pharmacist, but I'm going to do my best by you all. That said, treating people here is going to be a lot easier if I have medical histories. I know it's an uncomfortable area, but it would be great if people could provide me with whatever medical history they're comfortable parting with. I especially need to know if anyone has any drug allergies in the case of an emergency.

Anything you guys give me is on a voluntary basis. I won't force it, nor would I want to. But these past couple days have proven that nothing's off limits, and in the event that they make someone sick, or someone gets sick on their own, I want to be able to safely treat them.

Powering through from one sensitive subject to the next, let's talk about birth control. I just got back from the pharmacy, and the condom section was pretty well depleted. I'm really glad that you guys are being safe, because the absolute last thing I want to deal with here is a pregnancy. I brought the rest of the condoms back and put them in the public bathroom. If any woman here wants to be put on birth control, for any reason, I don't care. Let's do it. I'm all for it, whether it be to protect yourself or manage your periods or better your skin, I honestly don't care. I have access to it. Come see me, and we can talk about the options.

One of the biggest things I want to stress here is that the last thing I want is to violate anyone's privacy. In the outside world you would have every protection, from HIPPA laws to codes of ethics, and I realize those don't exist here. I'm still going to do my damnedest to honor them. I want people to feel safe coming to me, and I swear to you all that if you tell me any part of your medical history, I will do my best to keep that information to myself. In the event of an emergency and I have to recruit someone to help me I may have to share things like allergies, or I don't know what else. It's hard to imagine what's going to happen before it does, but like I said. I want, more than anything, to do right by you all.

Moving on. Along with condoms, I've put a few other things in the public bathroom. Different over-the-counter medications such as aspirin, benadryl, cough drops - at least a bit of anything that people might need, but not necessarily want to walk into town for if they have a cold or a headache. There are also bandaids and bandages, a thermometer, and other things of that nature. I've resupplied the first aid kids - there is now one in the public bathroom, one in the utility room, and one in the kitchen. If anyone wants another one for their bathroom? Great. Let me know, I'm happy to put one together.

Finally, I would really like to get together for another meeting. No surprises this time. We need to talk about having more structure in the house, and everything that entails. I would love it for everyone to come, but nobody has to. Unless anyone objects, I'm going to propose we all meet tomorrow in the dining room at 5 PM.

Thank you.

I liked hanging out at the next door neighbors' when I was a kid. They had cats, dogs and an iguana I liked to play with. :)

TOWN MEETING!!!!

TOWN MEETING TOMORROW AT ELEVEN AM!

Mandatory for all household guests, because FREE PIZZA made by yours truly. We're gonna talk about the whole vote or whatever, but mostly we're gonna eat.

What I need are a few lovely volunteers (because I'm a poor, recovering sicky who gets an almost sadistic kick out of ordering people around) and for everybody to let me know what their pizza of choice is so I can make sure everybody gets something they want tomorrow. Also chicken wings. And probably breakfast pizza, because that shit is THE BOMB.

Also, a hearty thank you to everybody for making sure we didn't die. You guys are all my fucking heroes. So pizza!

Do you think there will be a catch to the pharmacy other than us being in charge of cleaning? I mean like how the clothing store has clothes from our lives. You think the pharmacy will be weird too?

Hey, Marco tells me you have his stuff. He hasn't had any at all today and he's not doing very well.

If you don't have time to fool with it, I could take it to him.

So how is everyone intending to vote?

We got a present!

Has anyone else discovered what it is yet? :)

Water's back on.


[Private to Owen and Kate]
You two around?

( NSFW, to no one's surprise )

Hey, are you going to the party later? If you are, we should get ready together!

Let me know. :)

I am so excited for the party tonight! I think we all need this.

So here's the deal. I'm going to make dinner, but anyone who wants some has to come to the party and play by my rules. ;) If you didn't go into town to get something that fits the dress code, fret not! I have extras.

Shall we say 7:30 in the billiards room? I hope to see everyone there!