dunhaven; ic community.

XING + JUN

Okay, it has been nearly a week of me ignoring the drives and tendencies that come with a lifetime of being an older sister and I can't do it anymore. Please note that I really did try, but the need to be nosy has grown to be too much and I can't do it anymore. It's out of my hands, really.

All that being said: she's very cute, Xing. 😏

[Posted nearish to midnight on Wednesday evening.]

[Rachel Marlow]

Remember when you said that I could bother you the next time you had an overnight and I was off shift? I'm going to cash that in now.

I overthink things. I could blame it on my parents' lack of emotional involvement and their stringent academic standards but it's more likely just the mess of past life anxiety that this town likes to hand out like giant scoops of ice cream.

But I think about Ted and Andromeda a lot. I think about you, too. And I thought about you before I knew that you were dreaming about Andromeda, but now those thoughts are all tangled up together, for better or for worse.

I know how Ted's story ends. I can't not think about it, though I try to keep it pushed to the back of my mind more often than not. I love remembering all the little happinesses they found together, of course. But his ending just seems to put a haze over all of that, no matter what else I think of.

I don't know every part of your story. And you don't owe me any more than what you've already shared, in one way or another. But I know that you've lost people you care about, and nothing makes that better. What I'm afraid of, though, is that my dreaming of Ted- the reminders of him that I bring- will only serve as another reinforcement of such profound loss.

I like you, Rachel. And maybe it's obvious, but I hadn't actually said it, so... now you know, for certain. I like you, and I'd like to take you out. On dates, not on non-work-related meetups.

But only if it's what you want. Only if the benefits of me (as such things may be) could outweigh the downfalls of Ted. I don't know my own future, and I wouldn't want to even if it was offered. But I know that, no matter what else, I don't want to be someone who hurts you.

This weekend is my first that is completely free of any sort of party or wedding business since June and my god, does that feel good.

WYATT

Hey. I've been thinking about everything with my biological mother and I'm pretty certain that I'm going to go down to Florida and actually meet her. I'm not sure if it's the right thing, but I haven't decided on a day or weekend to do it just yet, but I thought that I would check with you and see if you have anything going on that I should avoid scheduling around, since I'm assuming you'll take Kylie? My mom would obviously take her if it doesn't work out, but I know that I don't want to take her down there with me. The first time Kylie goes to Florida should be for Disney or to see manatees and dolphins off the coast, not this.