net.

[Howard Stark]

All right, buddy.

I think you and I need to have a little chat.

This place is still so surreal. Is not sure what to think of it. Although, the free liquor is nice.

My world is absolute. There's a quantifiable component to love, to madness, to red and to black. In my world the only mystery worth plumbing is the dark heart of a man's soul. And I have been to the empty places on your maps to find the bottom of my own dark heart.

But I've never seen a door. A ghost door that appears. A door that is blank slate and cool gleaming metal. A door with plum-purple writing. I went through this door. Or rather, I opened the door and through it came my typewriter.

[Natasha Romanoff (AU)]

Hey Princess Anastasia -- do you have any idea what is going on? I mean, not with the whole New Vegas thing. I get that that's pretty up in the air.

But with the Avengers.

And with what you're doing on Saturday night. I mean, that's probably less important, but it's really my top priority.

[Voice-to-Text Messages: Jim Rhodes]

-- Hi. So.
-- Um.
-- What the hell is that thing?

Okay, so now that I've got the weird out of the way. Or, I mean, at least better established that what's going on here is weird, and what I'd look like if I were a woman. I guess it's time to figure out what we're going to do about it, so.

Avengers? Assemble.

(I'm Tony Stark. Obviously)

Situation Report.

.............I knew I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.