SENT FROM: dogeatdog
TYPE: Public Post
TIME: October 4, 2018 3:42 AM
Reader, I'm relieved d to inform you that my darlin sister does not have her own space galleaon capable of journeyin thru the skies & stars, armed with illegal radiation cannons and murder harpoons nor packed stem to stern with every form of decadence and finery and pretty much any dessert you can think of cooked to perfection. Because that would be too much. That would sort of be more n I can take from her. I mean I love her dearly but if she had her own space galleon on top of all the other amazing merits she got to her name I'd have to be like, I wish you would stop now. I mean how. How did you achieve all this. We got the same dumb parents. We dropped outta the same dumb high school. How did you even. And more importantly, why are we botherin with adventures and escapades and complicated revenge plots when we can just travel through space n time? (Oh, did I not mention the goddamn tesseract drive?) But it's alright cause as it turns out she only rents this cabin on a space galleon so we're good. That's nothing. That don't make me feel bad. One thing I learned in life it's this, that anyone can rent anything from anyboddy. So OK yes addmittedly yes this rented cabin on the space galleon is nicer n most nations. And yes I have to say I'm sorta wishing we never make it to the desalination plants cause I never wanna leave the bean bag chairs and calamari poppers and pleasure apps and music that sounds like the cool side of the pillow. But then I see my sister lookin out the porthole down at the stars, and I know this ain't about my wishes and wants. It's about hers. And hers are mine, now and always. And so we both want the following things and that's that:
1) To see Paris
2) To see anything (we're blind.)
3) Swim WITHOUT dolphins for ONCE
4) Milk one of God’s lesser beasts (bat, eel, etc.)
5) Climb a mountain (acceptable types of mountains: hard rock candy, Brokeback)
6_ Go back in time n go to Hitler and be like hey come on
7) Get down to my birth weight (9.1 lbs)
10)Build a ship in a bottle (a full-sized navy-sized ship in a baby bottle, this is gunna be tough)%
11) Mate a Labrador with another Labrador n create designer breed LabraLab