AUSTIN FREENET

SENT FROM: devildoll
TYPE: private message to legallyblonde
TIME: 11/06/18, 11:45 AM

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SENT FROM: Something
TYPE: Public to Dog Park

I'm staying at Bishop's any of y'all need me.
I have my phone.

If y'all need anything let me know. I'll do my damndest to get it for you.


Sent From: Something
Type: Public

Don't waste time on being petty.
This world has enough anger for y'all.
Protect the ones you love.
You don't have to love everyone but when you do love, love so deeply and fearlessly that it's worth it to have something to lose.

Type: Public Post
From: Slapinthefarce
Date & Time: October 7th, 9am.

I really miss the bacon at the Capitol. It's a terrible thing to lament. I know it is! but it's a terrible thing to lose.

“The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.” ~Lovecraft

Halloween is upon us my friends. What's your favorite spooky tales, ghost story, haunted happenings, scary movie, spine chilling book?

Living where I did when I grew up I knew many ghosts and saw many things. My ancestral home was steeped with history and death. Things haven't changed much.

SENT FROM: dogeatdog
TYPE: Public Post
TIME: October 4, 2018 3:42 AM

Reader, I'm relieved d to inform you that my darlin sister does not have her own space galleaon capable of journeyin thru the skies & stars, armed with illegal radiation cannons and murder harpoons nor packed stem to stern with every form of decadence and finery and pretty much any dessert you can think of cooked to perfection. Because that would be too much. That would sort of be more n I can take from her. I mean I love her dearly but if she had her own space galleon on top of all the other amazing merits she got to her name I'd have to be like, I wish you would stop now. I mean how. How did you achieve all this. We got the same dumb parents. We dropped outta the same dumb high school. How did you even. And more importantly, why are we botherin with adventures and escapades and complicated revenge plots when we can just travel through space n time? (Oh, did I not mention the goddamn tesseract drive?) But it's alright cause as it turns out she only rents this cabin on a space galleon so we're good. That's nothing. That don't make me feel bad. One thing I learned in life it's this, that anyone can rent anything from anyboddy. So OK yes addmittedly yes this rented cabin on the space galleon is nicer n most nations. And yes I have to say I'm sorta wishing we never make it to the desalination plants cause I never wanna leave the bean bag chairs and calamari poppers and pleasure apps and music that sounds like the cool side of the pillow. But then I see my sister lookin out the porthole down at the stars, and I know this ain't about my wishes and wants. It's about hers. And hers are mine, now and always. And so we both want the following things and that's that:

1) To see Paris
2) To see anything (we're blind.)
3) Swim WITHOUT dolphins for ONCE
4) Milk one of God’s lesser beasts (bat, eel, etc.)
5) Climb a mountain (acceptable types of mountains: hard rock candy, Brokeback)
6_ Go back in time n go to Hitler and be like hey come on
7) Get down to my birth weight (9.1 lbs)
10)Build a ship in a bottle (a full-sized navy-sized ship in a baby bottle, this is gunna be tough)%
11) Mate a Labrador with another Labrador n create designer breed LabraLab

SENT FROM: withaneedle
TYPE: Public Post
TIME: 9/5/18 1:30PM

There are days I miss wall calendars. Marking those squares used to be real satisfying.

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SENT FROM: Noa Bellamy
TYPE: Text to Rodeo Hawkins
TIME: 9/5/18 3:30PM

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From: Something
Type: Public

The crow done died on me in the night.

Hope it isn't a sign. It sure feels like one.

SENT FROM: dogeatdog
TYPE: Public Post

It ain't easy to get a good meal these days. Luckily I'm no stranger to scroungin, and even in these tryin times I find myself noshing on only the finest of fares. And you can too, if y'all just follow these simple recipes I'm submitting as part o my new segment I'd like to call COOKING WITH FAILURE.

OLDTIME STEAK RECIPE
Ingredients:
4 cans of Spam
3 tablespoons salt
1/2 bottle ketchup
1 towel
1 knife
1 fork

Take the Spam logs outta their cans. Feel free to drink any residual ham juice left in the can, it ain't as satisfying as suckin on that lil blood pad that used to come at the bottom o the steak package but it'll do in a pinch. Place the Spam on a flat surface, like say a countertop or your girl's ass, and take one of the tablespoons of salt and pour it over the Spam "steaks." Next, put the Spam on a towel and put that in the microwave. Heat the Spam at maximum setting for 10 minutes. Don't get impatient and take the "steaks" out before. 10 minutes is perfect to really lock in that old fashioned "microwaved meat" taste. When the time's up you oughta have a hot towel full of shriveled Spam. Take the remaining two tablespoons of salt and pour em over the "steaks." Now douse the "steaks" with about half a bottle of ketchup. Voila! You're done, and in under an hour! If needed you can substitute mustard for ketchup, sugar for salt, or your imagination for the Spam.

SOUP A LA STOVE
Ingredients:
1 can tomato soup
1 phone call
1 motormouth bitch
27 vicious insults

Open a can of tomato soup with a knife and let simmer on the stove. Don't go botherin with a pot, an open can is Nature's Pot. Stir the soup gently with your knife. When soup starts to look "hot," stop stirrin. At this point you're gonna wanna pick up the phone and answer a call from (1) motormouth bitch informing you that she's bout to set your bike on fire for double dealin her. Your soup should be coming to a smoky boil right about now, so take your time liberally sprinkling the conversation with 27 vicious insults. These should have been prepared beforehand and baked in a preheated psyche for approximately 4 hours. Pay particular attention to her tendency to slur her R's. Now if you followed this recipe to the letter, she already hung up on you. Enjoy your charred tomato brick from the can with a fork.

SENT FROM: devildoll
TYPE: Private message to dogeatdog

( private message to Rodeo )

SENT FROM: devildoll
TYPE: Private post filtered to DOG PARK residents and HELLHOUNDS.

Since I remember how rampant the rumor mill is around that place. For the record, yes I'm alive, yes I'm fine and no I don't need saving. So please don't go off on some half-cocked plan to charge into the Capitol to save me.

And Noa's assured me my dog is fine, so thanks to whoever's been looking out for him. It's not likely I'll be able to nab him anytime soon, so please try not to spoil him too much. If he gives you sad puppy eyes, just ignore him.