The 100; a panfandom game

What's all this coffee shit about, anyway? You want a morning routine, I've got one for you:

Step one: wake up next to a gorgeous Vint. Make him mad cause you tease him about his mustache being skewed.
Step two: get kicked out of bed. Take a cold shower.
Step three: have your lieutenant hit you with a stick a dozen or so times.
Step four: skip the coffee and go straight to the shit that'll put hair on your balls. EVERYBODY likes hairy balls.
OH yeah, throw in some shit about bathing in the blood of your enemies and jacking off to dragons and you're more awake than you've ever been.

You're welcome.

I have vanquished the evil chocolate bear which stalked our land of candy. It is no more. It was a vicious fight, but the beast was felled among the sweet and sour trees of the gumdrop forest. I would consider putting its head on my mantle, but that is how you get ants.

This was almost better than Satan's cake pops! I should kill things more often.

LAW ENFORCEMENT & LEGAL:

We've got a limited number of slots available for volunteering on the settlements. We still need law enforcement around here so speak now or forever hold your peace.

I want to be sure I'm going to wake up and find out this is all a dream, but I have a feeling that isn't going to happen.

Hello, everyone. My name is Snow White. You can also call me Mary Margaret if you wish. I was told there are likely people I know here.

Alright Poe, it's time to stop I'm putting my name in for Fight Club this month. Spirits know I've been in my fair share of fights, but it's been a long time since I had basic training and I've mostly just been in the air. I'm rusty.

BB-8 interfaced in and told me I should put this up: (ง'̀-'́)ง​ because it means "fight me".

Bonus points if tall, dark and handsome, since knowing my luck, first round'll be Rey or Pava kicking my ass. Which I'm probably due for anyway.

I have good news: the mead we started this winter is ready! Those of you who have been missing your honey wine, we have ready to serve at the Rose, including one barrel that we flavored with cinnamon and cloves. Thus far, everyone agrees that both the flavored and the ordinary mead are delicious, but you should come see for yourself.

[Filtered to Command + Brewers]
I've also got a few barrels set aside for trade - it's quality stuff, so it should bring a good price at market.

[ Friends/Friendly Acquaintances - feel free to assume ]

Who wants to join me at the Rose tonight in a torrent of self-pity for their performance in Weapons club? I should be better, I should not

[ /Friends ]

I'm grateful that fans enjoy writing about us but honestly? If we did all they like to think we do on the Enterprise, we'd never get any work done. Especially you, Jim. You are a busy boy in the world of fan fiction.

In light of the... content released today, however briefly, I thought I should mention a couple things, so I'm going to put on my nurse hat for a second.

First, Dr. Chakrabarti and I hosted a seminar on sex education back in February, and we made a couple different recaps, one written and one video, for anyone who missed it the first time or for anyone who just wants to go over the information again. If you're not sure where to find that, let me know.

Second, if you don't understand something you saw and you have questions, I'm here. Or you can ask one of the other medical staff if you feel more comfortable with them. Just know that there's nothing wrong with not understanding. There's no shame in asking us. You have my word that I won't judge anything you want to ask me.

It feels weird that I miss my kid. Okay, she's a lot smaller and she's babbling more than talking and I can't send her off to do homework while I get a glass of wine and some peace and quiet, but she's here.

Whatever. I feel way more like myself after last night. Going down to a god in the semi-finals isn't a half-bad effort.

[Trish]
I don't usually give a shit How are you?

This is not where I expected to end up next, but all right, universe, I can roll with the punches.

I'm Agent Abbie Mills. I've been getting caught up in what this place is all about, so now that I think I'm getting a handle on that, hey. From one apocalypse into another I was an FBI agent back in Sleepy Hollow, and before that I was a cop, so I'll be working in law enforcement here too. Home sweet home, right?

What else are we supposed to say here? I like red wine, trashy romance novels and cooking. I was easing myself back into caffeine recently, but I hear that's in short supply here, so it looks like I had good foresight. Crane would probably have a meltdown if he wasn't able to have a cappuccino.

LAW ENFORCEMENT:

I've met a lot of you already, but for those of you I haven't, hi. I wanted to take a moment to say I'm looking forward to working with all of you. I don't expect anyone to trust me right off the bat, especially since I can't exactly produce any credentials beyond a badge that doesn't mean much here, so if you have any questions for me - hit me with it. I'll answer to the best of my ability.

It is, perhaps, a small thing, but it is an extraordinarily reassuring feeling to grasp my sword and feel the familiarity that I had forgotten while away.

Darcy, would you care to continue our trainings now?

I am so happy to be back behind my bar, with my Alistair and my friends. Tavern regulars, you're all getting hugs when you come in. Deal with it.

[Filtered to Thedas]
And speaking of friends, we need a Wicked Grace night, promptly. Non-Thedosian friends and lovers welcome, of course, but I want to celebrate being back together, and congratulate all of you who beat back the goblins on a job well done.

Hiiii. I'm Judy Hopps. Officer Judy Hopps. I wasn't really expecting to wake up — here. I thooooought maybe I stepped on the wrong train and got off in Rainforest District, but this doesn't look like a rainforest at all. Lots of green, kind of wet, but not a rainforest.

Then they tell me I'm on Earth, but no one here looks like any animal I know at all. Never seen anyone like — what are you called? Forgive me if that sounds rude or unthinking, I've just never seen anything like you.

I'm an officer in law enforcement, so hello! I'm your new coworker. I REALLY hope I don't have to start all over with the token bunny stuff again

[...] There's no parking meters here, right?

I'm a freaking soccer mom.


eta: Meet in the bar until someone fixes this.

It's spring so that means it's time to start thinking about landscaping your yards and getting new plants. So come down to Game of Thorns and talk to me, we'll see what we can do.

Did anyone actually get to meet a pirate yesterday? I didn't and I was disappointed.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES:

Ever since he's been back, I can't stop thinking about this other woman having her hands on him. Him being ins I don't want him to touch me. I'm not happy. I don't know how to get over this. Is there a way? The kids are suffering. They know something's wrong. They've been on their best behavior. I can't keep doing this to them.

I don't think I want to try anymore. I think I just want to give up. Cut my losses and move on. Get back to work, you know. Have my own place with the kids, and we can co-parent. He's really great with the boys, and I'd hate for them to lose that.

I just think it's time to shit or get off the pot. If this isn't going to work, then we should just admit it. It's the first step to healing, right? Realizing that it's a problem that can't be solved without damaging the boys.

My life is literally consumed by house-painting. Who knew such a small place could require so much effort.

Is there anyone who happens to have an extra bed? Or maybe the urge to build one? I can pay.

[ family ]

I finally got the date for my in-home interview for the adoption. Tell me not to freak out. There's still so much left to do

Josh is starting school tomorrow for the first time ever. I think I'm more nervous than he is.

I look forward to the days when Harper starts sleeping through the night.

On the bright side, not sleeping meant I was up early enough to snag some of those cinnamon croissants and they were every bit as delicious as I expected they would be.